Early start and finish today at uni, staying a bit longer to do some reading though, took me 4 years but I finally understand why people do this, it’s nice and quiet and there are fewer distractions because you can’t get comfy. Still fail to understand why the vast majority of people do not seem to go straight o the bus stop once the lecture over, are they all really studying? I am on the 8th floor of the library, it’s the Art & Design floor, I come here because the view is quite nice and the slim chance of maybe seeing her here, it’s not a driving force, just an added benefit. Saw a guy from glass up here, he looked at me, I stuck my hand up like a wave and he nodded back to acknowledge my presence, I do not think I made a good impression as he saw me writing this entry, the blue banner must have made him think I was here for recreation and not to study.
Feeling resentment towards attractive people, every time I see a pretty girl or a picture of one, the only emotion I feel is anger because I will never be with her, when I see a picture of a girl who I find unattractive, I am not aroused at all, I maybe feel pity, worrying that this will lead me to dying a virgin as I am not prepared to settle.
Still having fantasies about beating people up at uni, also of becoming a sports star, in reality I don’t need to be a star, I would love just to be able to compete, even if I get knocked out in every fight or play in the lowest flight of the Bhutanese professional league.
My dinner for a while now has been consisting of Hummus and pitta bread, it’s simple, strong and tasty.