Uneventful

Roommate brought friends over today, turns out I was not as brave as I had thought, did not venture out. They were as annoying as always, they were watching Community, they watch a lot of shows that I like, I wish I could read his mind, the first time he did this did he expect me to impose myself? or did he really just not want me involved? Still hate him, fantasied about killing them all and disposing of the bodies for a while.

Mother called me while they were around, I ignored the first call to end the sound of the vibrations and the second call I answered and put it down after 90 seconds, had to speak in a whisper because they would hear me otherwise, still kept the chatter to a minimum though, brushed her off, said I was busy, some other unpleasant things, acted very disinterested, looking back I was too cruel, I will call her back tomorrow if I get the chance. I blame her for a lot of my problems but she does care, she was just an incompetent mother.

Had to go out to get milk, was a little warm, started sweating, I hate that. Bumped into a man on my way there, he said “hello”, I did not look at him, raised me hand and said “hi” while standing less than a metre from him. It was an uncomfortable experience, was self concious because I had masturbated but not showered and was wearing unclean clothes.

Struggling with tutorial work, just memorising the examples. It takes hours with my breaks.

Distracting myself with YGOpro more and more.

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “Uneventful

    • Entermates/Performapals, watching Arc V, like using anime decks. Tier 1 decks make me feel cheap.
      Used t run Galaxy, Quickdraw and Cyber Dragon decks for a while, nice to see Cyber is making a huge comeback with Infinity, might even give it another go after this deck gets boring.

      Like

      • Indeed, using shit tier decks is much more fun. I was enjoying Battling Boxers/Burning Knuckler last year when I was still playing. I tried watching Arc V but I got bored within a few episodes. Not a fan of the series as of late, I didn’t enjoy Zexal either but I thought the 5Ds concept was very interesting (dueling on motorcycles, edgy atmosphere, class warfare and divided societies, more mature themes, etc.) I hope the next protagonist will be more mature/older like Yusei, although I also liked the GX series alot because being in a duel academy sounds fun. I feel like Konami’s target audience is children right now, even though their main consumers are probably teens and adults. I do miss the old shows where duels felt like an epic battle with their lives at stake. Right now I can’t it seriously because the protagonist is some ridiculous clown character.

        Like

      • I feel exactly the same way, does not seem to be a very popular opinion in the Arc V threads on /a/ though, many are going crazy for Arc V, calling it the best series, though what else would you expect in an Arc V thread. I am halfway to catching up, not impressed, seems very SoL to me right now but it is supposed to get much more exciting and plot heavy later on.
        Zexal part II is incredible, arguably the best stretch of episodes of that length, the final series of duels all hit the mark, the main reason I kept watching was for the obvious conclusion, a Yuma v Astral duel, nowhere neat as emotional as Yugi v Yami or even the most emotional duel in the series. Would recommend a watch. I just like standard shounen shit, good guys and good, some bad guys turn good later on, new villain and monster reveals.

        5D’s was the shit though, errors were made but those first two arcs were perfect and the second half of the series was at least fun. There is just a charm about legal adults playing card games with their lives at stake, one of the reasons I love Kaiji, main one being he is a NEET loser obviously.

        Like

      • Hmm, I may need to give Zexal a try then eventually. I also enjoyed Kaiji very much, it was one of my top anime of all time. It’s been a while so I don’t quite remember the details, but when he got greedy and got his fingers cut off, that was an interesting plot twist at the end of season 1. Also, when he got released from that underground prison it was quite a cathartic experience to see him go through all that pain and misery and make it out alive in the end. Seeing him do near impossible stunts of luck and cunning made it one of the most suspenseful anime I’ve ever seen. And I like how realistic it was seeing his own teammates betray him and each other constantly. Literally every arc was interesting, I wasn’t bored for a moment. It’s probably one of the only anime I could give a 10/10 score.

        Like

      • We have quite a good amount in common between this, the accounting and you understanding my feelings how are you holding up? if it’s going well, what’s your secret? How do I sort my self out?

        Like

    • You should probably address your problems with social anxiety. There are anxiety meds you can take to make you feel more comfortable in social settings. You don’t have to become a normie, but later on in life you will need the skills that normies have to function in the workplace. Just slowly adapt to being more friendly to the normals, having people like you is a useful asset. You could also exercise a little to gain confidence. You don’t need to be /fit/ tier and you don’t even have to go to the gym, you can just do simple home exercises like pushups. I’m not sure what’s the best path for you, but that’s what I think would help you out right now. Also, drinking coffee or tea will help you think more clearly and be alert, apparently coffee helps with depression. If you need any more advice let me know, I’m not 100% sure about what part of your life you want to change.

      Like

      • >coffee or tea help
        fuck, I don’t drink them since I don’t like the taste, tastes like hot water and hot drinks in general confuse confuse me, since when they are prepared they are far too hot to drink, they burn my mouth.
        but this would explain why everyone in the world loves these drinks, I will force myself to drink coffee from now on though, fucking hell, it is crazy to think their literally was a magic potion right under my nose this whole time. Just fuck me.

        >exercise
        Used to do pushups in my room as a young teen, did not get much out of it, but jogging might be the one, since like coffee, it is something that normies are very fond of, must be for a reason. Though I would have to do it in the early morning, if at all

        >drugs
        will research, got a ban for discussing it on r9k, could take it to 420

        Thanks for the coffee tip, I really hope that turns things around

        As what I want to turn around, ideally everything, I want to change myself to point I can be proud of myself, maintain friendships and enjoy life

        Like

      • Actually, I suggest not using illegal drugs. That could get you kicked out of university. I was speaking of literal meds, just browse around the anxiety relief pills on amazon, just make sure it doesn’t cause drowsiness. Apparently a lot of music artists use “beta blocker” pills when they perform to calm their nerves. Also, drinking iced coffee or coffee with milk in it is fine and it helps it taste better. Obviously, these things won’t make you a normie instantly but it will help if your health is good. Get more general confidence in talking to people. Saying hi to people and getting a positive reaction is a good start, get better at greetings and general banter like “it’s really cold today” or “that test was really difficult, how did you do on it?” Also in the future it would help to come to lectures prepared and you having input, every person respects the smart guy that knows his shit.

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s