A productive day by my standards

Went to class, short lecture, not worth waking up so early to attend it. Stayed back for 2 hours to finish my coursework, made the word count but it is a jumbled mess and I stole a lot of the references from another journal but I am just glad to have gotten it mostly off my back. travelling early I get to see a few teenage schoolgirls, tights are part of the uniform, so it has it’s perks.

Polish girl entered and left class with Muslim girl. She caught me looking back at her when I was leaving the lecture. Embarassed but fuck her, she can think what she wants but she won’t ever say or do anything, I am glad I creep her out, I live rent free in her head.

I never considered doing an Elliot but seeing how dismissive people are of the latest imitator is a real turn off, for me, finally being acknowledged would be the main draw, from my tormentors and my peers but knowing that I would still be anonymous, buried under a hundred threads and 50 headlines including sports and entertainment makes me see that such actions would be pointless on some levels.

Thinking about how little of this city I know despite having lived her for over 3 years, I am only familiar with the few building on campus that I have had to use, not the gym, student union or canteens and I have only ever been up and down the high street, never down any of the side alleys, never visited the art gallery which I just noticed is a pretty big building, this is a very tiny city but I have managed to make it feel even smaller. Maybe the reason I spend so much time inside is not because I am afraid of the outside but just because I don’t really know what is out there.

Spent most of the day at “home”, roommates stayed in, feels like we are always in the same room due to how easily the sound travels. I hate it.

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