Worry

Roommates friends didn’t leave until 11pm. Too distraught from the events in the kitchen to be mad at them. Did the push-ups before bed, just did 1 set of 40. Had some of my roommates Ribena in the morning, tasted fantastic, too expensive for me to buy it normally myself, it went well enough with my fruit portions. Shaved this morning too.

At uni, I found a row to myself, unfortunately people still chose to sit besides me, a group of “lads”, there was some banter, I couldn’t keep up, much more difficult type of conversation to observe, dissect and understand than those one on ones between two people who seem to be forcing it. These guys were enjoying each others company, bit of banter, no pressure, rapid changes in discussion topics, that is the sort of friendship I want, to be part of a group so less weight is on me. Beta orbiter sat behind me, from what I hear he had organised some some kind of out of class activity with another girl, that man continues to puzzle me, this girl was chubbier but still out of his league, could be a date, don’t know or care since I don’t like this girl.

Ate fruit in the morning and got a good amount of sleep, still struggled to focus in class, bought some Lucozade from the store along with hummas and cookies on my way back, coffee might not be for me, though I will give it a few more tries, so I will give energy drinks a shot.

Roommate didn’t disturb me while I was in the kitchen, I only go in for 2 minute spurts most, he still run up to our female roommate whenever he hears her though, so leaving me alone is deliberate, still not confident when it comes to using the kitchen though due to slim chance of interruption.

Quite a bit of light rain today, very soothing.

A Polish flag visited my blog yesterday, little worried about that. She should still be in the country but I can’t know that for sure, I flicker between worry and relief that she will understand me better, a launchpad for normalised conversations between the two of us.

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