Mum called me yesterday, it was difficult to make conversation as I didn’t have anything going on, as per usual. Call only lasted 5 minutes. There was just nothing to say. Felt bad, wish I could give her more.
Walking home, a lot of people overtook me, I wouldn’t say I am a slow walker but I am not as fast as I should be, I think I might have rickets, further hampering my desires to become more physically active.
I was thinking about my gender identity and sexual orientation, could be a transbian gender dysphoria, the specific fetish I like best is “sissy” stuff. I needed to get this pinned down, I am happy to accept the sissy fetish but I don’t like the gender dysphoria because I will not go through with transitioning.
Posted the Polish girls pics, I am so over her, that was point of tthe process, to purge my system, it ended with her getting d0x’d and informed of my activities, felt a little distressed but I couldn’t care less what she thinks, only what she does, likely won’t be anything, uncertainty is rather unnerving, I will be avoiding her, getting to lectures early and sitting closer to the front from now on, worried about graduation, also saw a thread about clapping, hope there will be a “no clapping until the end” rule, I was embarrassed during high school graduation in front of my sister and mother when it was very quiet when I collected my certificates. I did take much solace in the anons who stood up for me or at least condemned the whiteknighting of the guy who led and defended the d0x. I am even more over her now that that has happened, means the relationship is even more dead.
Male oommate did not leave today, so I was hesitant to use the kitchen. Did not attempt to do any work today, did not attend the 4 hours worth of tutorial classes today.