Sent off a few job applications, McDonald’s, admin assistant, accounts assistant and kitchen porter. Couldn’t apply to Aldi as I was having issues with my tablet. I don’t find these jobs demeaning, for a long time now all I have dreamed of is something simple that allows me to survive in comfort, by comfort I mean having an internet connection and warmth, that’s all I want. I feel frustrated when I don’t get these jobs, they are presented as jobs at the bottom of the barrel, jobs anyone could get, I don’t understand why I’m being passed over. I am trying, I’m doing my part to be a functional member of society but when I get nothing back I feel betrayed, demotivated, I just want to check out.
My current situation is where I wouldn’t have been after I graduated anyway, NEET, posting on 4chan and masturbating. The difference is that I would have been part of of a more sympathetic statistic, I really hope I can get a job in the next month, if I can’t then I don’t really see my life getting much better,will need to make a drastic change fast before I get stuck in a rut.
Not going to bother with the army, they won’t have me, there is a selection process, I wish just being willing to work was good enough to get a job. No progress on the voter registration, haven’t heard from them in a while, not that it matters, my vote would have been meaningless.
Dad called again, still thinks I can get back into university in time for my exams, what an idiot, never mind the fucked up priorities, there is the matter of me having missed a month of classes so I would be unable to pass well anyway. Told me to speak to the university as if I hadn’t already tried that, told him I was banned from campus again, eventually texted him a couple of relevant email addresses and the exact charge against me “stalking act, section 39”, hope that shuts him up for a while. I had accepted whatbhadb happened and what was going to happen but involving my parent has just made me angry, depressed and confused again.