Slowing Down

Applied to a few jobs today. Handed one CV in person, went to another store and asked for an application form. They aahd run out and asked me to return in 10 minutes. I did not bother going back as I knew I would have a hard time beating anyone in direct competition. I was reminded that although I may have applied for around 10 jobs than I was probably competing with 100+ people for those jobs, this was a bit of a knock on my confidence.

Went to the job centre to use the computers there as the library is closed on Fridays. Applied to 6 jobs at B&Q, felt like I was bound to get an interview due to the volume of vacancies. Unfortunately I received 6 rejection emails around 10 minutes after having completed the last application, I had failed the “what would you do in this situation” questionaire. Another knock. There was a Pole in the job centre who barely spoke the language getting help on how to claim benefits, various scum assembled, a guy who had just gotten out of jail complaining about being due 3 weeks of incapacity benefits. I feel I can at least look down on these people as I have not yet claimed benefits, gone to jail and know the language.

Still three more places I know are open to applications and B&Q is worth another go at some point but I’m running out of steam. The high I was on after working at McDonalds is ending, I think will receed into the more traditional NEET lifestyle next week.

I can be happy and somewhat relaxed for a short period while I assume my current applications are still being processed and have not been outright rejected.

Caught up on Game of Thrones and bought some Pepsi.

My little sisters pet died, it had been diagnosed with a tumour or something, they were told it was in pain, it was inhumane to keep it alive. It was put down today. I didn’t like the creature but I now feel bad for it and I feel bad for my sisters who are likely now hurting. My mother called me and wanted me to speak to them, they were making a PowerPoint for it, seemed in good spirits, it us unusual for this family to express emotions. I told them to hug each other and said what I thought I should in the situation, they found it all amusing.

There have been a lot more comments than usual being posted recently. Thanks for the support but if you a question, just phrase it directly don’t feel the need for tact.

Pretty poetic that this blog is now being read by people who I have little familiarity with in the real world. My whole ordeal started when nobody knew me or shared to know me but I was obsessed with learning more about them. Now the situation has been reversed and they all want to know me and what I have been doing/thinking recently. The difference is that this blog is open to them, unlike other forms of social media where you can pick and choose who you allow to enter your life.


18 thoughts on “Slowing Down

    • I guarantee that ribena gets off to all the hits on this blog.

      The sad part is this is probably the most people have ever paid attention to him.


      • It’s not a secret, I posted about it.

        Logical to be enjoying attention after being invisible for so long. The most satisfying thing is that the people who I wanted to notice me finally have, possibly even check for update every day.


  1. You said you were paki right? So I’m guessing you have a Muslim family? You could try and go to a mosque if they help out like at Church. I really do recommend you start running, push ups, sit ups, pull ups and going to the gym. Joining the military changed my life and really helped me grow as a person. I was even worse off than you befor, I didn’t speak to anyone except my mother and just stay in my room all day lying on my bed crying and cutting. There’s always hope mate.


    • Not really religious, I don’t know the prayers and stuff. I think to get the full benefit you need to go all out and be quite pious, I don’t want to be like that. The owners(?) of the mosques in my home town don’t even appear to be able to speak English, I don’t want anything to do with them.

      I though about the military last time, I wouldn’t make the cut. If I’m struggling to get part time retail work, how could I possibly sufficiently impress the MoD? I would imagine the main appeal of ISIS is that they will take anyone on.


  2. Anon

    I strongly recommend that you leave Aberdeen and go home to your family. Your past experiences and social difficulties make you think otherwise but it is a fact that they are concerned for your welfare and that they love you very much.

    Get out of Aberdeen, being there is doing nothing for you. Go home.

    Go to the gym, look for a job, help your sisters with their schoolwork, help your parents around the house. See your local GP and insist on a psychological referral to a therapist/consultant. Meet with them and vocalise to them rather than type on here. Stay away from r9k, pol, int etc… too much exposure will fuck you in the head.

    It is good this blog is supposedly being monitored by the rozzers, it massively helps your case in that its direct evidence you are very firmly somewhere on the aspie spectrum. You said it yourself a few days ago that you are incapable of rational, ‘normie’ thought. Hopefully when the trial and court case proceedings start, it is clear to the magistrate that you need someone you can trust to talk to and some SSRI’s and shit.

    I reckon seeing a Therapist to let it all out, and some prescription meds to sort your currently unbalanced brain chemistry out will do you the world of good.

    But yes, the trial. If it goes badly you may get sent down. This is something you need to recognise and make arrangements for.

    If it goes well, i.e. you are not jailed, please carry on with the therapy and the treatment, the job search and the family time.

    If this is not possible for whatever reason… would have an opportunity to do what most people would love. Withdraw your savings, pack your bags and get out of wherever it is is holding you back. You can live comfortably in south east asia on a relatively small amount of £ sterling, go to Thailand or the Philippines where Hotwheels is and spend all day doing whatever you want, surrounded by asian girls throwing themselves at you.

    All you need is your life and a suitcase.


    • The SEA idea doesn’t sound so bad. I have around 8k, how long will that last me?

      Going home for a while since my initial barrage of sending out job applications is coming to an end. Think I’m officially registered with a GP now so I will book an appointment soon.

      My hometown is a real dive though, there are no jobs there, one of the unemployment black spots of the UK. Aberdeen (or one of the capitals) is where it’s at if I want to make a go of it. I quite like playing the adult and if I’m going to find a job, it will be here. There are 4 months until the trial, that’s too long to spend at home as an invalid.

      I’m not an aspie or autistic, I think it’s just a gimmick (with some genuine social anxiety which is not that harmful or special) and I forget sometimes and it all carries over into the real world. I would never have thought about using pissjugs until /r9k/. I’m not sure but I think, sometimes I might also do certain things so I can write about them.


  3. There’s zero chance poleaboo will go to jail. zero. he might get some community service but probably not. Just a telling off will be the extent of it.

    That polish girl is such a hateful person. Poleaboo took a photo of her doing a big shit and she was embarassed. OK. Time to move on already.


  4. You’ve been fired from McD’s. You pissed in your roommates Ribena. You’re not gonna finish uni in time because you acted like a shitty person and entertained yourself and others at someone else’s expense. You’re not in a position to look down on anyone.


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