Got a call from the amusement park at noon, didn’t answer it as I was in bed, tried calling them back but got the voicemail, I’m sure if it was important they’d get back to me. Worried that for some reasons the trial run on the job has been pulled.
Kept another fast today, they’re too long, make me feel more lethargic and bored than usual, don’t think I’ll do another one. My brother has a PS4, could play some FIFA tomorrow, I played it first back in April, I enjoyed the RPG elements and card collecting.
Prefer being away from home, I can be pathetic with more privacy there. My mother wants to celebrate my birthday, I’m too old and a failure, it’s ridiculous. Want to get away quick, back to my bubble, want that privacy and escape from feelings of guilt.
Need to put a finer point on what I want to accomplish and then focus on the how, not much time left before the first deadline.
3 months since I was arrested and I haven’t done anything to improve myself, just apply for 50+ jobs, a job is needed so I can function, it’s not impressive and it’s nothing to be proud of, the only thing I gain from employment is income. What I really want to do is add value to myself and make use of this time. I’m going to try to learn Polish when I leave. I know how that sounds, not just the Polish part but learning a language (and writing something) are two of the things people NEETs claim they will use their free time for (creative and intellectual persuits) but this is for me, I’m going to find personal fulfilment through it and that’s all that matters.
Facebook and Google’s “How do I say “I love you” in Polish” adverts on TV are upsetting me.