Just Nothing

Being home is worse than being on my own, I do so much less now, just /brit/ and Hearthstone. Can’t get in the mood to watch a show.

Had a vivid dream about someone I shouldn’t have.

Mum asked me to go to the supermarket and get a birthday cake for myself, she was just trying to get me out of the house, I didn’t want a cake or anything but figured she would buy it herself if I didn’t. The trip to the supermarket was pleasant, walked through the park, it was warm, not many people out even though I waited until after 5pm so no one would think I was a NEET. Approaching the trolley barrier outside the store a shirtless man was walking in the opposite direction, he was in good shape, quite sexually intimidating. Knocked me back as I had put some effort into getting dressed today. I figited through the barrier and instead of waiting for me to get through, he jumped over the thing. Cool.

The actual store was a nightmare, so many fucking kids, crying and screaming. No qts in sight despite the place being packed and next door to a sixth form college. Lot of greminlins and otherwise clearly unhealthy people. Hate this town and the people sometimes. Bumped into a lady on the way out, she smiled and we both said sorry, that was nice and reminded me to stop assuming everyone here is scum.

Drank Coke. Unusual for me as I stay away from carbonated drinks.

Don’t know where my brothers PS4 is, he wasn’t around all day and night so there was never an opportunity to ask him.

Still taking the beta blockers, only one a day though.

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5 thoughts on “Just Nothing

  1. You need to re-establish direct contact with the polish girl. This needs to be resolved. You’ll definitely feel 100% better and (if you play your cards right) you can put things back on an even keel. As I said yesterday, you ALREADY have a relationship with this girl. She KNOWS you INTIMATELY. She THINKS about you. This is something. She already knows how much you mean to her. You aren’t just another chad chatting her up in a club.

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    • Totally agree, contact the girl directly. If she doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact that you two are in a relationship, keep calling and texting her. Hell, follow her around so she will see how deep that relationship is and how much you care. She’s gonna love it so much, she may want to get a restraining order. Don’t be discouraged, it’s only because you’re on a higher level than all those fucking betas.

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      • I know you guys are fucking with me. I’ll get remanded if I try to communicate with them before the trial.

        Plan on opening a line of communication after the trial though.

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    • Can’t remember the details, it was intense though. Felt like I didn’t need the real thing it was that satisfying.

      Non sexual.

      Had another dream today, didn’t understand the setting but it allowed us the have cute interactions like in my Japanese cartoon (or like she had with her beta orbiter). We were comfortable around each other.

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