Didn’t need to leave the house again today. Not doing anything with my day other than watching Boardwalk Empire, wrestling, a little Hearthstone, masturbating and shitposting. I want to get back to watching anime, my life was better when I was watching 10+ shows a season, want to get back to that point, I was happy, busy and had interests if nothing else.
The femdom videos from yesterday were mostly crap. They all either had poor scripting, acting or the actress wasn’t attractive enough.
Something that’s been bothering me since Sunday, the day I worked, when I was being introduced to my colleagues by my trainer, I said “hi”, when being introduced to another colleague, a young qt grlll, I said “hi again”, she giggled, I must have sounded silly. I don’t know what she was thinking but I don’t like it. I don’t like that I looked socially inept.
Realised I’d been drinking Chads milk for the last 2 days, I can now understand how such a mistake can transpire, good thing I didn’t do anything rash. I rectified my error by pouring some of my milk into his bottle.
Chinese Chad is around, brought his gf over last night and she spent some of the day and the night here again.
I’m avoiding my roommate but I am prepared once we do cross paths, I’ll tell them about my job. The key to conversational ability is life experiences.
Had cookies and warm milk for dinner.
Want a haircut, need to keep cool working under the sun, feel confident somewhat regarding getting one even though I’m not 100% sure on what to say, the barber seems to know.
Probably not learning Polish.
Human Garbage 
Read all of your posts, been lurking.. So, to start, thanks for updating this blog with regularity. It’s been interesting as well as entertaining to be allowed a glimpse into your life and awful predicament in which you find yourself.
And, well, damn.. I really hope the best for you but at times it seems as though you’re delusional. I believe you mentioned a while back that you took some sort of “autism test” and positively on it. If I do recall that correctly, I would, as someone with a degree in psychology and though I doubt the ligitimacy of such a tool for self diagnosis, recommend that you go speak with a professional concerning this.
No, I’m not calling you Autismo the Autistic fucking Robot, but it seems as though all signs point to you legitimately landing somewhere upon the spectrum of autism. I personally have a good friend with high functioning autism and the paralleled traits and characteristics are very noticeable. He also is obsessed with girls and ruminates on the fact that pay him no attention. Yet he fails to follow clearly good advice as to how to improve himself in terms of his sociability and other tips that would allow him to, with greater efficacy, communicate like a normie.
I would suggest you steer clear of the super secret club, with particular caution payed to staying away from r9k. It’s definitely nothing like it used to be, but it seems as though you’ve internalized that “culture” and operate under what I guess could be described as an r9k code of ethics (or lack thereof). I say this because my friend with autism is particularly impressionable and, as such, is someone to whom I’d never recommend coming into to contact with and much less becoming immersed into the filth that is 4chan.
To add, here in the states he gets some substantial help from the government. I understand you’re almost too prideful to accept such help (by proclaiming yourself above that due to the fact that you’re aware of your shortcomings, social ineptitude, etc) but you’d definitely be able to profit from this as it would free up time for you to seek counseling, medication, and hopefully participate more socially. Like you said, conversation isn’t so much possessing the skill to talk about whatever on the spot, but rather it’s sharing anecdotal life experiences. It’s easy, you just have to go out and live and to do so effectively you’re going to need help.
Further, being diagnosed and under treaemt may help you with your legal matters. Someone legitimately of an unsound mind behaving in socially unacceptable ways but seeking treatment is bound to receive more lenient punishment or sentencing than a creep that just did the shit you allegedly pulled and is blaming others or is bound to his convictions and mentality of “they deserved it.”
Be proactive bro, help your situation and yourself because literally no one else can or will.
Cyborg out.
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Thanks
I did hear I should “get therapy” from someone else today too. I have no problem making an appointment, talking tongue receptionist but I’m not sure what words to say to her.
I need therapy? Too general, I don’t know what my specific problem is
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Diagnosis is the first step on a hundred mile journey that will lead to normalfagdom and tfw gf.
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good advice from that guy above. I also enjoy your blog and think you are far more interesting an intelligent than you give yourself credit for.
Now in regard to the ‘small talk’ thing. You really don’t need to discuss momentous life events to carry a conversation. In fact the opposite is true. The trick is to talk about nothing much as all. The truth is that people just want to hear the sound of your voice.
A trick you can use is the ‘conversation sandwich’. ie. start a conversation about any little thing. Say something positive. Then say something negative. Then say something positive again.
Example:
poleaboo: I saw a movie last week
Chad: yeh? what did you see
poleaboo: I saw that new avengers film
Chad: any good?
poleaboo: well, I normally enjoy superhero movies [positive]. But I gotta say the acting in this film was pretty fucking terrible [neg] having said that the action was non-stop abd kept me entertained I guess [pos]
Chad: sounds sweet
Poleaboo: Yeh, you seen any goo movies you can recommend… etc
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Alright, sounds good. I usually focus too much on the negative, gotta bring it back around. I know I’m too negative in general, don’t necessarily need to cut that out, just rearrange my thoughts.
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The two guys above me sound like they read self help books on social interaction for autistic individuals. Formulaic and gay, just relax and shoot from the hip.
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shut up cock sucker. Poleaboo is an autist. he can’t ‘shoot from the hip’. He needs tips to structure his conversations better.
also poleaboo – that QT was laughing when you said ‘hello again’ just because she thought you said something intended to be funny. It’s a natural reaction. If you say something that sounds like it’s intended to be witty people will automatically laugh out of politeness, even if they don’t 100% understand what you mean. Don’t sweat that small shit man.
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he’s a social retard. he doesn’t need tips on how to have robot conversations from other social retards. what he needs is to just b himself, relax, and make mistakes.
you sound like the actual autist with your autistic analysis of why people laugh at things.
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I’ve been relaxed, I’ve been myself, I’ve done the trial and error shit forms while, forcing myself into uncomfortable situations, it doesn’t work for me, I’m not learning anything other than I don’t want to do this
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I agree. I meant to post about how people often laugh at things I say that weren’t intended to be funny, just my honest best attempt at a response and carrying the conversation.
I don’t like it, feel pathetic.
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You feel pathetic because you are pathetic
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I know this
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What’s your real name
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I want to jump on the lurker-compliment bandwagon and say that I really enjoy your blog poleaboo. It’s like a modern day, autistic Adrian Mole.
Looking forward to the new season so we can have more banter in /motd/. The only city fan in the threads :^)
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t-t-thanks
/MOTD/ threads were the comfiest thing in the world for me
Looked up Adrian Mole months ago and I’m not too high on the comparison
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