Give Me Death

It was difficult to get out of bed this morning, working at the amusement park is tiring. I forgot to clock out yesterday. This is a difficult situation, I don’t like any of the options available, working, hiring through my savings or going home.

At work I noticed the padlock I moved had been returned to its proper place. I recovered the padlock I dropped at the end of the day so I won’t be worrying about that. The job I do is perhaps one of the most desirable at the park, I feel guilty for not being more useful. Felt like this borderline qt was giving me evils. I think to be friendly to all customers, a little less to the qts because I figure they won’t appreciate it, they’ll think I’m being nice to them just because they’re a qt. Don’t like customers using the rides too often which they do, have to come up with new material which I’m not willing to do, they want banter out of me but by the later hours of the day I don’t care enough. It’s tiring work standing up for 7 hours, my feet hurt, it’s painful to stand or walk.

Pissed my pants twice. I drank a lot of water, couldn’t hold it in, wasn’t brave enough to ask for an early break or second break over the radio, thought it would be denied. Want to blame stress or anxiety for my inability to hold it in. Don’t feel embarrassed, it had to happen this time but I’ll drink less water in the future to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

When I was leaving I saw a colleague in the bathroom, urinating, he said “bye, lad” or something on his way out. Interesting to note that it is normal to greet people to you know in public restrooms.

Chad didn’t clean my bowl, I did it myself, it was difficult, whatever was in it was stuck on real good. Chad is a bad person, there’s no way around it.

Found out what phone my China phone is a clone of, a Vodaphone Smart 4, retail £40. Was barely worth getting the knockoff, doesn’t bother me though, I just wanted a decent smart phone for a low price.

Chad came home mat half past 10, greeted the house again, this time Chinese Chad responded and stormed straight down. Asked Chad if he wanted to play badminton tomorrow and went into the kitchen together. I wonder if he was always planning on using the kitchen or just did so to have something to occupy himself while talking to Chad.


15 thoughts on “Give Me Death

      • Funny thing

        I probably got into this whole mess (the obsession over the Polish girls) in order to make myself more interesting so people would pay attention to my other feels

        Now my shit is considered to outlandish, it’s ignored for the opposite reason.

        This isn’t the same person I was when I first started posting on /r9k/


      • Thing is, poleaboo, I just don’t believe you’re real. The arrogance, the self-absorption, the martyr complex, your total inability to listen to anyone else, the way you wallow in your low self-esteem and sense of victimhood – it’s all too obvious. It’s all too textbook. It’s like you took the standard medical definition of a mid-grade narcissist and made a character based on it.

        Don’t get me wrong. This is all very funny. I mean, it’s actually fucking hilarious and every time you piss somewhere new it totally slays me. I laughed until I cried (literally!) when you pissed in an envelope because you were scared of meeting your roommates. And I can’t tell you how awesome the thing about pissing your pants at work was. It’s comedy gold. But I don’t believe you’re real.

        I’ll keep on reading you, though, because you are clearly a talented comic writer.


      • Doesn’t being textbook make it more realistic.
        It’s not that I choose not to listen to people advice it’s that I can’t. I can’t go to the gym or stop feeling a certain way.

        >matyr complex/victimhood/self absorption
        I accepted I fucked up al!ost immediately but that just led to my alleged victims punishing me even further


  1. You think about people in one of two ways – normal (everyone else) and abnormal (yourself). This really isn’t helpful for you and it doesn’t reflect reality either.

    Try to place people in a spectrum. For example, Chad can be a nice guy (offers you dinner, initiates friendly conversation etc), but at times he can also be a bit of an inconsiderate cunt. You don’t need to be friends or enemies. Instead you can have mixed feelings.

    Also, you say you have no personality and can’t interact socially. But reading your blog your personality comes through very clearly. You also provide natural responses to the comments left by others. I think you actually do have reasonable social skills. Instead, I think you have a low self esteem. I think this stems mostly from your negative view of your own ethnic background.


    • >my personality
      What is that? I think I’ve been quite inconsistant, less bitter now and I’ve never agreed with the assessment that I’m a narcissist

      >replies to comments
      Most of the time I’m just replying factually, it doesn’t require any thinking. The detective also said that he thought I didn’t seem as bad as I thought I was, I didn’t have any problems speaking to him I told him it was because we were talking about my favourite topic, one I knew well, myself and the girls I was allegedly obsessed with. Also he had to pretend to like me, I didn’t feel the need to win him over.
      Quite similar here


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