My back was aching but I lifted myself out of bed and shaved my face, wasn’t as painful as I’d expected. Knocked over my piss envelope in the morning, it smelled strong. My bottled water cap fell on the floor yesterday so I bought a bottle of Lucozade for work and a chicken sandwich despite being worried I might be fired today.
When I arrived everyone was already seated and gathered for a team meeting, the team leader/manager guy wasn’t here today, instead the 18 year old son/grandson of the amusement park was giving out orders. He was certainly the guy I told to fuck off yesterday. I step into the area and hear “how was on X ride yesterday?”, everyone looks to me and some say my name. Not sure if people acknowledging my existence is preferable to blending into the crowd/background since it means they have an opinion on me. I tell the kid that I accidentally took the keys home with me and pull them out my pocket. He tells me that’s fine and to just hold onto them then. Cool, and nonegative reaction to telling him to fuck off yesterday, he got it was just banter, we both did something potentially offensive, he didn’t give a single fuck, or maybe my having shaved made him think his words cut deep and I did it to distinguish myself from the other guy. He was smiling and his confidence relaxed me, he makes a great leader, really a near perfect human being, got a lot of desirable qualities. He told everyone what they were doing for the day and after asking if I had a company provided jacket or not he brought one out to me a few minutes later.
The day as fine. There were some students with backpacks, think they were from a private school, or society or both, they looked and sounded that way, they even chanted some posh wanker shit. There was a group of near 20 of them, didn’t like how upbeat they were so told them off for leaving their seats while the ride was in motion and stopped it altogether when they reoffended. This happened twice before they were housebroken. One of the girls in the group told me to smile, I do try to do this often throughout the day, it’s very forced but people seem to react to it.I remove my smile when confronted with people who I don’t think will have their day much improved by seeing a friendly face.
I enjoy the kids, they appreciate me and I like that I can see the joy I bring to them. Particularly the ones who look like they may currently have or in the future will have difficulty in their lives.
There was a girl who I think was coming onto me, she talked to me more than is usual.
At quitting time this guy who had been offering snippets of help over the last few days approached me and helped me shut down the machine. He was right to, I hadn’t been locking up properly, Insisted I do some of it myself though, don’t like being babies even if it is appropriate given my track record. Couldn’t really talk to him, he said “slow day”, I thought “I guess”.
Not sure how to take part in workplace banter, when other people walk by or there is an opportunity for a short interaction, I can’t think of anything punchy enough to say. I force words out of my mouth but everything I say is so fucking stupid and worthless, not sure if it would be better than not trying at all.
Hurt to walk to the bus stop. I have tomorrow off so that might give me the time I need to recover, I’ll get a layin if nothing else.
Chad was in the kitchen when I got home, he was watching Sunny again, after an hour I decided to go in there, I was feeling brave since I would have a couple of things to talk about, how I dislike Sunny and that I have a job now. I went in and we talked about TV shows and my job, when talking about my job I used ‘fucking’ too many times. I cooked a jacket potato in front of him. I left after 10 minutes when my food was done, couldn’t have handled any more, it went well though I’m still too negative and can’t get my thoughts in order quick enough regarding topics I am passionate about. Chad spent 4 hours in the kitchen watching shit on his laptop on Netflix and doing some engineering problems. He was mildly offended when I suggested he download Boardwalk Empire when he asked where he could see it. I don’t understand why he and my last roommate are against pirating television shows, films I can understand but not television. My bowl has gone missing again. Chinese Chad arrived after I left and he talked to Chad about engineering and pharmacy for a while. When Chad eventually left he said goodbye to his homework and said he was leaving now out loud. Feeling less hostile towards Chad.
I liked the finale of Boardwalk Empire, the series and the last episode in particular didn’t try to hide that the main character was a bad person.