Stopped taking my betablockers a while ago, don’t know if they were doing anything but I’ve not been feeling anything since stopping and had no qualms about saying stupid shit. Used the word ‘cunt’ in front of that female trainee a few days ago. I need a filter and feeling terrified is better than feeling nothing. Don’t want to blame the tablets for seemingly regressing though.
Chad was in the kitchen all fucking day, from when I returned home at 2pm to 10pm at least. He doesn’t have a desk in his bedroom so he uses the table in the kitchen, he uses the kitchen like it is an extension of his room or a living room. What I liked about this place was the lack of a living room, less pressure to interact with the other flatmates. Spent all day working and watching shitty sitcoms. Fucking inconsiderate cunt, how would he like it if I spent all day using that room they way he did?
Went to the pissbottles several times, topped off the Lucozade and soaked the carpet a little. Got over 3 litres now. Chad could most certainly hear me handling the bottles and adjusting my trajectory. Logically it made no sense for my to avoid going to the bathroom.
Did get brave and leave to buy Doritos at 8, figured he already knew I was home and I wouldn’t have to see him, just remind him of my existence again and generate another opinion on me. Couldn’t eat them though as he would hear my munching.
Chinese roommate came back and drank beer with Chad, they hung out for 2 hours in the kitchen. Didn’t invite me to drink with them despite knowing I was home. It was Chads beer, he’s the one at fault. He clearly doesn’t like me. He shits on me, I piss on him.
Weird how the Chinese guy brought up Chads gf again, “would you rather have a successful career or be unemployed and have your gf?”
Chinese roommate too residence in the kitchen after Chad. No headphones but I use his washing powder so have to cut him some slack.
Heard Chad talking to his gf over Skype or something. I’m not feeling the chemistry between the two of them. There conversations aren’t interesting or fun though she laughs. Watched Spoony and his gf review wrestling, he seems to tolerate her. Don’t understand bf/gf relations at all.
Went into town to print off CVs, the guys forced to work at the job centre are always such gimps. Realised I hadn’t put my name on my CV outside my email, possible the reason for my bad luck hunting for work. Frustrating walking through town. Home had its problems too bit I prefer the people to be miserable and scummy. Hate the people here.
I would describe myself as Muslim. All I have done so far is avoid the haram chicken sandwiches for lunch but it’s a start.