Trial update

Met with my solicitor today, took about an hour to reach his office in a residential district nestled between a bookies and a convenience store. I sat down, asked me what I was up to, laughed when I mentioned the amusement park. The man reminded me of the charges and read out one of the victim statements. I cringed, he laughed once. Ashamed of how pathetic I was. Agreed there was no wriggling out of this so we’re pleading guilty at the pre-trial thing on the 28th of AUGUST. There won’t be a trial since I am likely to get “hammered”.

Disappointed my brief hadn’t actually read my blog or posts, few errors he made that I’m not happy about such as thinking I was banned from using the internet but ultimately it matters very little, fucked up enough that the spots where I’m innocent are irrelevant. Just upset that my actions and intentions are being misunderstood. He asked a few questions, such as how the uni is treating me, presumably he will argue I’ve been punished enough.

I didn’t have any questions in my head when I went out to see him, so I didn’t ask much, such as the gameplan or what of we did go to trial. Spent most of the hour reading the statements, illuminating, what they thought of me and how things played out.

“I was just trying to be nice”

“We were never friends”

“I don’t think he had a girlfriend”

“I never saw him speak to anyone”

“He didn’t seem to have any friends” – both girls

The roommate seemed to have been pushed into it, (partially by me) just considered me a nuisance. Can’t go into any details about the other one here but again it’s interesting to know how seriously people take little games others play. Unhappy despite her short obsession with me at no point did she seem to feel any fondness from me, I believe I was originally very complimentary to her, placed her on a pedestal, bombarding her with praise. Being an obsessive stalker alone should be flattering, it’s just another way of saying ‘cuck’.

Getting a fine. Hoping the fact I’ll be unemployed at the end of the month will factor. Got a little aggressive with the solicitor and apologised. Will schedule another meeting and ask for details on our plea and to read the statements again, I am not allowed copies, loved reading them though, it was a substitute for actually interacting with the girls.

What I want above all else is understanding. Unfortunately though I can’t vocalise myself well enough as I’m unsure of parts of the narrative myself, get a little hooked on them, brief asked if I was obsessed and I said it was a gimmick, I don’t even know the truth anymore. Probably ashamed of being so pathetic (obsessed), would rather be malicious (gimmick). Getting community service instead of a fine would also be preferable, money is worth more to me than time.

Still using pissbottles.

Hoping I’ll be allowed to contact the girls and clear the air after this is over.

Reminder this is all fiction and doesn’t refer to real people or events.

I’m not sad or angry. I’m confused and unfulfilled.

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14 thoughts on “Trial update

  1. ” Just upset that my actions and intentions are being misunderstood.”

    They weren’t and aren’t.

    You are a deviant at best, and need remanding in custody.

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    • The stuff in the statements
      Neither of them reference my genuine fondness for them, they jump straight to the end of the book when I got angry. It’s also blown out of proportion, there were 3 pages on drama relating to a fake facebook account I created. The /r9k/ thread barely gets a mention, wrote more about hunting me down than being distraught by my actions.

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      • I think they’re trying to come to terms with the fact that there is a connection with you.

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  2. Why would want to and ever even think that it would be possible, permissible, or a good idea to have any contact with them? You’re delusional.

    Surely, in your unrealistic mind, a heartfelt apology would lead to a sudden realization on their part that they’ve been cruel and mean to you and thus apologize to you before you all hold hands and walk away into the sunset.
    You fucking dumb ass autistic retard, no!
    Pay for your transgressions (imprisonment, fees, community service, whatever they decide) and put this behind you and just stop.

    It’s interesting to read about this situation you’ve got yourself into but it would not be right to go along for the ride (via reading this blog) and not be 100% honest in response to your delusions which would only lead you to worse trouble.
    Get help.

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    • I read their statements and figured some clearing of the air was necessary.
      The roommate in particular, just offer to get a drink, talk it out, laugh it off, we don’t need to be friends but I don’t want enemies.

      The classmate has read this blog, don’t think there is anything I can say to her. She’s just vindictive.

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  3. Your old roommate has strong feelings for you – not love, not hate. More a combination of fondness, pity and confusion.

    You should make contact after the trial. It won’t be the start of a relationship or anything. But she will talk to you and it will give you closure.

    Don’t contact her by Facebook or email. Follow here over the course of a couple of days and learn her habits. Then bump into her in an isolated place ‘accidentally’

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  4. There appear to be primarily two kinds of commenters on this blog. Those who are brutally honest with you, and (rightly) criticise you for what you do, your way of thinking. They tell you to stop being a creep, stop pissing in bottles etc. And those who play along with your delusions and/or way of rationalising/justifying your actions. Like the ignoramus who is suggesting you stalk your former flatmate and then surprise her ‘accidentally’. I can assure you if you do such a thing this will reinforce the image in her mind of you being a creep. It would freak her out. The latter type of commenter seems to be ‘taking the piss out of you’, as it were, having a laugh at your expense through sarcasm and encouraging you to see how far this madness, your madness, will go. Ultimately you will end up paying the price while they laugh on. Steer clear of the girls – any attempt to contact them will backfire.

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    • This.
      I am the above commenter. The one who called you out in your delusions, to be clear.
      It serves your obsessions to listen to the ones who cheer you on, compelling you to act further.
      This is not what you should do. I can’t imagine a person could take such obvious and less than cleverly disguised trolling as anything else. Unfortunately, you are not right in the head, man, and as a result you seem to feed into these idiots who suggest you join the ranks of extremists or urge you to urinate into more drinks.
      Just stop.

      And, please, stop pissing your fucking pants, it’s disgusting. There is no excuse for this. If you’re literally too retarded socially to use the restroom at work or whatever, wear adult diapers (srs). That would be an awful suggestion to any normal person but it’s a lot better than having you continue your disgusting trend of pissing yourself.
      Come on.

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  5. Their perception of you cannot be fixed.
    You will not “laugh it off” with them, ever.
    Stay away from them for your own well being.
    You will always be the enemy.

    Just leave them alone, surely your country’s version of a restraining order will be in place as part of your punishment or, rather, for their protection.

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  6. The loop must be closed Poleaboo. No-one else understands how much you need this.

    You’ll know when its the right time to reach out to her. Bide your time until then

    Like

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