All my irl attention has dried up

The coworker who was hostile towards me offered an olive branch this morning when we were clocking in, asked “How’s you?”, I instantly responded with an apology, she smiled as we discussed “chubby” being a soft word. Going to have to edit some words in previous entries before making this public again. Her smile indicated she wasn’t happy being angry and was just waiting for an apology to bury things. Not sure what spurred her to make the first move though, maybe little blonde has been singing my praises. Not liking the idea that everyone here is a nice person and I’m the cunt.

Lunch break at work I went to ASDA, saw little blonde coming our of there, didn’t want to be alone with her in the staff room so I ate my lunch in a toilet stall. I can’t talk to my colleagues or roommates about anything other than work.

Autistic kid or something visited the park the last 3 days, we formed a bond, talked a fair bit, sad she doesn’t have any friends, was asking random groups if she could ride with them. End of the day she fell, cut her knee and started crying. I asked a customer to take her to the first aider, I should have stopped the ride and taken her myself. Want her know I care about her, feel upset that she’s upset.

Got my payslips. All I had to do was ask for them I was told. Things are mostly in order, not being screwed out of enough to warrant kicking up a fuss over. Less than 5 hours. Working 6 days next week with Wednesday off, working 8 days straight then before my down time, not far off so it’s bearable.

Ate crisps for dinner. £1 multipack of McCoys. Roommates can cook, I’m intimidated by the idea of trying to cook something proper while they could jump me. Chad looked to be making spaghetti with chicken.

No energy or enthusiasm at work today, didn’t pretend to care about the customers, no pleasantries etc. Looked foolish in front of another member of management, it soured my mood, just poor choice of words after I accused a kid of not being tall enough to ride. The mark I have to measure kids against is either set differently to the one management used or as I suspect they weren’t as eagle eyed to standing on tiptoes or measured the wrong kid.


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