14 and counting

Same shit. Owners kid is biting his tongue, clearly offended by my incompetence, he doled out some pleasantries which is more than he needed to do. Others are being nice but I’m not making an effort Ito interact or hold conversations with them anymore, don’t care about it now. Happy to just clock in and out. A group of them drove past me, honked and gave me a thumbs up, I had the wherewithal to wave back, forgot to smile though. There was a group of 5 of them in the morning while I walking to work, only glanced at them once and sped past, they were on the other side of the street.

Think a colleague overheard me getting too friendly with a couple of kids, I was just being friendly, bit of banter but it might be expected to be more detached. One of the kids was shouting my name apparently but I didn’t hear her, feel bad.

Glad starting tomorrow shifts will be reduced to 4 hours, more time to sleep, less time my mind and soul rot doing the same monotonous tasks every day. I think I might have been close to my breaking point, worked the last 14 days straight. Will only just make rent though.

Solicitors meeting on Wednesday, don’t know what to say, same problem as last time. Think I should be able to get off one of the charges since my apology email counts as one of the course of conduct that caused fear/alarm.

Tried Cloudy Lemonade Lucozade, regret it, had a bad feeling about it, discouraged from trying new things. Will stick to Original in future.

Called my dad to say “goodbye”.

Old man at the bus stop made conversation with me, spoke about the weather, I was uncomfortable and struggled with responses. Wasn’t racist but didn’t like that he asked where I was from and then my parents. Brushed it off.

Chips and gravy for dinner.

Saying her name out loud in public now, it’s noisy near my ride and I get some space walking and on the bus.


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