Thanks, brother

Bit of Hearthstone before work, had to wait an hour between my shower and eating breakfast as someone was in the kitchen. Spent a good few minutes counting change for the bus, thought I had exact but ended up with about £1 after I’d counted it again on the bus. Leaning towards thinking I inadvertantly underpaid the driver.

Off the bus and walking to the park I noticed my black coworker talking to the Indian guy who allegedly shared my blog, they were standing outside the animals residence. I approached them, looked the filth in the eyes and asked “Did you share my blog?”. He looked either puzzled or panicked and responded with “What?”, I waved him off while cussing and stormed away. Black guy laughed awkwardly.

Impossible or at least embarrassing to find out who found and shared my blog at work. People can just deny it, point to others and I can’t call them out on it since I have no proof, just ‘he says, she says’ playground bullshit. I don’t known who it was and I can’t ever find out. Would have done better in the police interview if I’d realised this sooner.

Dead at work, don’t know who the park is open for at this time. Owners kid noticed me not doing anything or that I was bored, in a friendly manner he handed me a brush and assigned me the task of cleaning my ride. It was something to do so I welcomed it. Pretty sure he’s being nice to me because I’m the only one who can operate the ride so he can’t risk scaring me away.

Heard a guy yelling at me, though he was enquiring about the ride, wasn’t the ‘boats’ he was asking about though, it was my blog. Asking why I’d taken it down. I’d encountered him once before, it was at McDonald’s, he was in a group with the skinny white Muslim girl, was very chatty, friendly, warm, encouraging and charismatic. Don’t believe that at the time he knew about the blog, he found it through the girl, doesn’t post on 4chan, familiar with reddit, said he left some comments about boxing, try and get me to have a normal conversation.
Anyway, so here he was (Along with a female who he claimed was his sister), he talked at me for a lengthy period of time, gave me advice and summarised it himself as “get your shit together”. It was a pep talk, he was supportive, said he thought I was a good guy. Found it difficult to talk to him and talk clearly, wasn’t even looking in his direction most of the time, he must have been so disappointed. The man was the closest to a Chad I’ve seen with my own eyes, perfect height, built, booming voice, limitless confidence, talented speaker, etc.

Asked what I’d refer to him as on my blog, said “Paki Chad”. Told me “Paki isn’t close to what I am”. Light skinned but I couldn’t bring myself to say “Everyone brown in a paki”

His advice

  • Travel
    Don’t join ISIS
    Don’t marry a freshie (Paki from Pakiland)
    Keep busy, devil makes work for idle hands (I am doing this right now with work)
    All pussy is the same – lose your virginity
    Go to the gym, learn jujitsu or something
    Finish uni
    Get an SIA card

I cringed a few times when he brought up race, I feel uncomfortable discussing that. When telling me all females are the same and I’ll learn that after I got laid, I said that I didn’t see colour, he told me to fuck off.

Chastised me for coming up with excuses about being too busy to do more. He agreed that the Polish girl was a bitch. Couldn’t relate to the piss stuff. Even the shit I did say wasn’t well formed, I might have been too anxious, couldn’t get the words out of my mouth right.

Really appreciated him coming out to find me and encourage me, hate myself for not showing it and not getting the most out of the interaction.

After speaking to him I can say with absolute certainty that I consider myself Muslim, being a brother, he was more familiar with me and went further than others in this city who have read my postings. Ah, shit, forgot about my friend, he did more for me than anyone, he’s a leftist but I don’t feel a desire to lean that way. Fuck, I’m confused, I’ll try to be more like both of them.

At home I played some more Hearthstone, Chinese Chad showed me the utility bill, I owe £75.70, for the 2 month period, I assume. Proof that my hapa ex-roommate/landlord fucked me over, hope I’ll be able to snatch his licence from him when I get around to that small claims court thing.

Ate ASDA tortilla chips with ASDA dip. Had a jacket potato later too.

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3 thoughts on “Thanks, brother

  1. I would give you some pretty great advice could I make it up to Aberdeen. I feel like it doesn’t really register on line, it takes someone with a reasonable amount of charisma and speaking ability to make the right impression, in person. I think you’re a lot more capable than you give yourself credit for and are a much more crucial individual than you describe yourself / see yourself as.

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      • Understandable, I find it difficult to take advice too. Hope things improve for you, like I said I think you have a great deal more potential than you think.

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