Wok up late again today, masturbated in the morning and during the night which is something I rarely do, the night wank was especially satisfying, probably because I was groggy, felt as if an external force was present.
Shower, cereal. Hearthstone, /brit/, /britfeel/, 420chan, downloaded some more anime but didn’t watch any today, finished skimming Raw.
Still don’t have much of an appetite, went out to ASDA to buy something for dinner as my cupboard and freezer compartment are bare. Navigated past the McDonald’s, hopefully without being seen. I spotted a female who from behind resembled one of the Polish girls, same jacket, same backpack, same stick thin legs, I could only see her from behind so I hovered around the area for a while, picked some bananas, the last bunch I bought were forgotten about and rotted but I need to get something healthy into my diet. My heart was racing, I was feeling faint, couldn’t think how best to approach her, everything seemed to aggressive. She turned around, wasn’t her, her fashion sense was quite common after all. Not sure if disappointment or relief, I wasn’t in a good condition to interact with her, need to shave.
Wondered around ASDA, didn’t know what to buy, just picked up tortilla chips and dip. Felt disgusting after finishing them as usual.
Still angry, got a plan, tears will flow again. Really need my laptop back.
I’m not pissing out of the window anymore, I am now emptying full bottles out the window and filling them back up in my room, I was anxious about being seen.
A roommate vacuumed the upstairs hallway. They spoke to each other multiple times again today, I’m relatively safe in my room, just wait for it to pass but I feel bad knowing they’d like a third man to add to their dynamic.
Chinese Chad knocked on my door, I was lying in bed in my underpants, scrambled to get up, let out an involuntary grunt before opening the door, I am comfortable with Chinese Chad seeing me in my underpants and a T-shirt, I don’t know why I am so comfortable around him compared to others but I am, if I had to guess it would be because he comes across as nice and honest. When I answered the door he asked if I was sleeping, said “Resting”, not sure what distinction I was trying to make, maybe being vague and confusing was the intention. The wonderful young man offered me cookies, they were those “reduced” ones, were going off tomorrow. Took one, he insisted I take the other too, usual banter “you’d be doing me a favour”, “well if you insist” etc. Said some unclear stuff about being unable to find reduced goods in ASDA, a decent exchange apart from that.
A guy spectated two of my Hearthstone arena games, threw me off, didn’t like being watched or having to converse. Maybe if I was at least prepared.
My body feels fine now I’ve had a lengthy resting period.
I’m trying not to think about the misconduct hearing because whenever I do I’m starting to imagine the worst, I have no answers for the likely questions I’ll be asked.