Woke up at 10am despite wanting to sleep for longer. Back at 6mg E now. Managed to sort out a Bica order though even if it is too late for my fertility at least it will reduce body hair.

Today I ate porridge (220 calories), 3 chocolate biscuits (300 calories), it was the first time in over a year that I had biscuits, I don’t love chocolate either but waking up early makes me hungrier for some reason, 100 calorie snack thing, small banana (70 calories) and a little chicken (??? calories). Probably under 1500 calories total so that good but beyond my aim.

I filled out a supplementary online assessment for a job, thought it was retail but there was a lengthy call centre simulator that I half screwed up.

ASDA here isn’t 24/7, waited until as late as I could though to go to the store since I needed to buy some razors, my facial hair looks pretty bad if I let it grow out due to laser reducing hair growth in some areas but not others. Chose to buy one of the fancy ones with multiple blades instead of disposables since I’d like to try and get a closer shave. Went with a 5 blade ASDA brand one for £5 and a cartridge of 5 more blades for £4. However once I got to the self service, the cartridge came in at £6, guess someone placed it on the wrong hook. I only had £10 with me, wasn’t sure if I wanted it for £11 anyway so I left the stuff there and hurried out the store.

It was a short walk but it did make me feel better, I should walk more but I have nowhere to go and am too unfamiliar with local routes.

Played some Dragon Quest, bit of Hearthstone, watched WWE Raw, don’t know why I watch it, I don’t like anything about it anymore.

Guy on /r9k/ tried offering me a “job”, I told him to fuck off.

Started doing squats again.


6 thoughts on “Blades

    • I stopped cutting in May, I don’t know if I did it because it made me feel better, because I wanted attention or both.

      I started crossdressing again and that made me feel better.

      I didn’t get any attention from cutting though, my mum and sister noticed my scars, they quizzed me and asked if I was cutting, when I denied it, they dropped it really quickly. They didn’t have the capacity to help me or offer sympathy, I don’t know why they even bothered to ask, it was clear I was cutting but they’d rather believe my weak story about having “scratched myself too hard” since it’s more convenient.

      Some stress comes from my father, he leaves me alone now, for the most part. I started cutting right in front of him and he didn’t give a fuck, not the reason he started leaving me alone though.
      The git just asked “why” when I started cutting, the dense creature doesn’t even understand the concept of self-harm, not that I wasted m breath trying to explain it to him. He left it there, didn’t ask any follow up questions and forgot the entire incident.

      No one in this house wants to accept responsibility, no one wants to help others, no one is capable of helping others.


  1. A guy on r9k offered you a job but then you started saying mental things about “pakis”, he quite rightly decided against employing you and you begged him to reconsider.


      • How do you know it was a fake offer? Didn’t sound like one to me. He rescinded his offer because you started talking about how you don’t like “working with Pakis”, which is what any employer would do if you said that.


      • I am a paki so I can say whatever I want about pakis and their vile ways

        Also, don’t call him an employer, that glorifies him, even in his fake little story, he was just another paki waiter


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