Ignore it, maybe it’ll go away

I’ve pushed the expulsion and the appeal to the back of my mind, I have over a week to submit the thing, acting this way has reduced my anxiety, I don’t quite feel suicidal but I’m certainly not happy, regardless though, I’ll feel that endless despair again very soon.

Spent £75 on a 3 month supply of Dutasteride and I’m also in the process of buying 60 DNP pills. If I take a step back, I don’t see the point in doing this but it creates the illusion that I expect to live for a while, maybe that’s a good thing. I am going to be incredibly angry when the appeal fails so this won’t matter, I know it won’t but for the time being I’m feeling pretty calm. My bank balance is taking one hell of a hit mind, perhaps with a couple of JSA payments I can stay above £5000 and I’ll make around £1000 from working. I am sticking to 6mg E, got scared off increasing my dose, I’ll take another blood test soon but they cost £50 so I’ll wait a short while, increase my funds.

I told my driving instructor a few days ago that I started my job next Monday, I was wrong, it doesn’t start for another 3 weeks, it’s going to be awkward informing him of this.

Cleaned my bedroom drawers a bit threw some stuff away including a lab coat I purchased during my first attempt at university, pitiful that I kept this pointless reminder for over half a decade.

Watched The Apprentice and the companion show, I would dream of being on the show last year, it obviously isn’t suited to me but I’d like to be the type of person who could have an entertaining run.

City are doing well again, I suppose that should make me happy, might watch MOTD with /sp/ tonight.

I suspect the runts from the amusement park still read my blog.

personality

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7 thoughts on “Ignore it, maybe it’ll go away

  1. M8 please be careful with the dnp. It’s got such a long half life it’s not difficult to accidentally overdose. Dnp is bad news poley

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  2. Not eating and gobbling down those pills, you’re going to look haggard and gaunt Poley, I know this isn’t what you want….how about you start eating healthy and exercising at the gym regularly instead … You’ll look lean and svelt after a couple of months (wear headphones if you want to avoid conversation with randoms). I also reckon the physical exercise will also be good for your state of mind

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    • >not eating
      I wish, I always give in to cravings and have 1000+ calories

      After I lose weight with DNP, I’ll put it back on so that it goes to the right places due to HRT

      I can do walking and squats as far as exercise and I do try to eat healthy, I eat fruits, but I can’t cook anything

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