Dad was cruel and intrusive again. He entered my room and remained there for a solid hour, sometimes he was just sit on the edge of my bed staring into space and tutting occasionally, towards the end he was standing near the door, staring at me. However for the most part he was asking me questions, not offering any advice and cruelly insulting and criticising me.
There were only three points of discussion though they would repeated many times. He asked when my next driving lesson was, I told him I misremembered the date I started my job so I haven’t booked one yet. He became abusive after hearing this, as if I was somehow seriously at fault for this and even after explaining he still harped on about it. I don’t understand why he is so interested in my driving progress. He wanted information on my job too, he had nothing to say, he just wanted to know details of my life for the sake of knowing, I tell him where, my shifts, my pay and what does he give me in return? Nothing.
Informed my dad about the expulsion, his advice here was “apologise”, useless but that was the only constructive advice he offered. He said if I don’t go back to university I should apply to a local university, he’d even pay and that if I don’t go to school then I should get married, I scoffed and he wouldn’t answer why I didn’t want to. It’s completely pointless speaking to this animal, he has nothing to say that’s worth hearing.
He compared me to my sibling and neighbours, asking why I couldn’t get a job. Told me to wear nice clothes and go outside. Told me to get a haircut, pointed out my patchy facial hair (due to laser) and my finger nails (not really particularly long), it disgusted me how he touched my hands and fingers in order to inspect the nails. The one bit of the conversation that sticks out though is how he pointed out that he “favoured” me, gave me money when I asked etc (I rarely asked for money and it was never unreasonable), I responded by telling him favouring one child made him a bad father. His retort was that he believed if he was good then the others would follow me, I tried to explain again why that made him bad and if he understood English then I’d remind him he was a rapist. I can’t remember or understand even half the crap he said.
He finally fucked off 5 minutes after a sequence when I tried snapping my headphone and threw them against a wall, I told him to chuck them in the bin on his way out. Dad motioned towards trying to physically assault me. On his way out he picked up my headphones and smashed them against the wall again.
Started working on my appeal. Didn’t get much help from the Student Union, they said it looked fine basically. I have a lot of words down, not sure if there’s much substance. Made a complaint against the woman who conducted my misconduct hearing, I expect to hear something back tomorrow after a few email exchanges with the principal.
Lost my tweezers, fortunately they’re incredibly cheap but I’ll have to buy them online.
Played some Hearthstone.
Still eating terribly, that DNP can’t come soon enough, perhaps it’ll take around a week, it’s shipped from the US.
Watched WWE Hell in a Cell, nothing special. Last Week Tonight was alright.
I told my father something dark, just to see his reaction, he didn’t understand at first but then all he said was that he couldn’t understand why I’d think to do something like that given the apparently easy life I have. Once again proving it’s pointless to talk to him.