Had another fight with my dad and I’m beginning to think that I’m the problem. I thought he was asking for something and I threw a tantrum, threw the food I had onto the floor and kicked it. My dad has picked up this habit where he starts slapping his head loudly when he gets angry. The man showed some concern despite this and offered to buy me more food.
My head feels strange, I don’t like the feeling, I want it to stop, I don’t think getting back into university will make it stop. I’m not sure what I can do to make myself feel better since it’s so hard to define what I feel so I have nowhere to begin when trying to figure out why I feel the way I do. These feeling were aggravated after the argument with my father.
Went out to get a takeaway. It’s incredibly cold now, I don’t want to go outside, my fantasies of becoming a vagrant are dead. At the burger place I was unfamiliar with I asked for the first burger on the menu (a cheese burger), when what I really wanted was a chicken burger.
I enjoyed watching Man City defeat Barcelona yesterday, I’ve seen the opposite happen so many times now.
Been eating poorly for weeks now, must be using the incoming DNP as an excuse.
I think I’ll feel better or at least different after my next laser appointment, I have high hopes.
There’s a job vacancy at one of the fast food franchises near my house, it’s popular, paki run but there’s a white guy working there. I don’t know why but I’d feel uncomfortable enquiring about the vacancy, I think they’ll lean towards hiring someone younger anyway.