Yesterday I received an email from my solicitor notifying me he had received a letter from the procurator fiscal informing him that my bail only now expired and that charges won’t be pursued against me. The timing is suspicious, this week was also when I pressed the police about the release of my seized possessions (The police then had to email “someone else” to get confirmation that the items could be released”). Clearly what has happened is that there was never any intention to prosecute me or to conduct an investigation, it was just something done in the moment to appease the Poles and the other complainers and so after a year they had forgotten about my very existence and to officially end my bail. Such a fucking joke, they have no idea the impact this has had on my life, I was quite literally driven out of a city, I lost a year of my life over this, it’s not fair, they can’t possibly get away with this, I want to speak to solicitors but I can’t get any information quick enough, I’d have to arrange a meeting and pay for their time. I sent an email to the duty aid group who I was with, just to complain, might get something back confirming that I was screwed over.
My dad has been quite nice recently, too nice, he doesn’t ask me for anything, afraid I’ll flip out again, he even strained himself and was able to read enough words on a letter he received, it was regarding a medical exam related to his insurance claim.
Most importantly though today was the day of my first laser appointment and this new/proper place. Train was delayed so I had to run a little to make it on time, got there 3 minutes past 9 which was 3 minutes late but it didn’t seem to matter at all as I still had to wait before being seen. It was raining which I normally would have enjoyed but when I have an appointment to keep, it just makes me look a bit distressed once I’ve arrived. The technician was a nice young woman, seemed a little inexperience, I didn’t care for her technique when it came to hitting my upper lip but we’ll see the results soon, perhaps the quality of the laser will make up for it. It lasted around 15 minutes which is appropriate though that time was also taken up by drawing on my face and applying some creams, less painful than usual, might be an indication that the setting need to be changed. The technician tried to make small talk often but I couldn’t say anything at worst and anything of substance at best. One nice thing she said to me when advising on how to persevere through the pain was to imagine how I’ll look after we were done.
Bit of an embarrassing issue, I opened a new bank account a while ago, a savings account but only today realised the card for that account was damaged, I had to use my other account/card to pay for the session, however it did not have enough funds to purchase a course of treatments, I had to pay for a one-off session this time, won’t be an issue I’m still there by June. I was aware this could be a problem but did not make the necessary adjustments so I only have myself to blame.
Cis-women in the city triggered me.
Could have eaten better today, it’s not so much the calories that are the problem but the things I eat, I need to cut out the junk food, I had resisted for months, I’ll find that frame of mind again.
My youngest sisters hate me, we had arguments again today, it doesn’t seem to be worth building bridges.
Played more Pokemon Moon.
A cousin of mine has bought a shitty little house, in a shitty area where everything needs fixing in this shitty town. She works at Pizza Hut so you can guess how cheap the place was. I tried explaining to her sister that renting was superior to buying, especially where we live but she wouldn’t understand despite a long argument. Pretty social of me since I was able to argue with her about a lot, immigration, pakis, mentioned I went to my white doctor, got a lot off my chest.
I snapped at my mother a lot today, it’s getting to the point where it might no longer be seen as banter and as abuse.