I can live with this

Applied for that American Express card last night.

I woke up today at 6.55pm feeling well rested, there was enough time to shave, shower and do everything else I needed to. I was mildly nervous about today so I arrived early, 20 minutes before 9am, I wasn’t that early though, there were two other members of my training group already seated, the woman and the older DnD guy. Our supervisor/ helper was a new guy, at first I was angry towards him because I felt I wasn’t getting enough attention, later I felt bad for feeling that way since he helped me plenty and was nice. The DnD guy also helped me out, he really didn’t need to, such a great person, I wish I was like that but I lack the capacity, not smart enough, not social enough.

Unfairly I also harbored negative views of another member of my training group but I was wrong to feel this was also, we just don’t have any reason to communicate. She smiled and notified me that my mic wasn’t down when I was on a call. I also appreciate that she knew my name.

When work began, it was fine, I enjoy taking customer service calls, the calls are shorter, they’re more interactive and I don’t get stumped too often. Helping people also makes me feel useful. I also enjoy how the calls are constant, never any down time. My call time is low enough so I might actually make it out of probation.

The possible-tranny came over and chatted to the other members of my team, turns out she’s sick so only doing a few hours per day and why she wasn’t around much last week. I really doubt she’s trans, it’s ridiculous the lack of effort she makes to feminise her mannerisms. I hate her but I shouldn’t.

Didn’t have lunch today, didn’t have any yoghurts in the fridge, might skip lunch regularly.

My face looks terrible under certain light, there’s a lot of hyper and hypo pigmentation.


7 thoughts on “I can live with this

  1. Acknowledging our own weaknesses, to ourselves, is the start of strength: whether we acknowledge those weaknesses or not, they still exist; if we deny they exist, we can’t start fixing them. You may actually be stupid, you may actually be crazy, but I’ve known plenty of smart and sane people who are terrible people, who will never change and only get worse, because they won’t admit they have problems.

    I’ve also known stupid and crazy people who, though they have difficulty succeeding in life, are much more mature and moral than “successful” people. I prefer their company greatly. So, be modest, be honest with yourself, face your problems, learn to take care of yourself and be happy by yourself; these things will give you a better life than any wealth or popularity.

    While we’re on the subject of work. Do your job, keep your head down, be polite, and don’t get involved with your co-worker’s lives; more than half of keeping a job is the politics/”drama,” just avoid it. As my Grandmother always said: “Be pleasant and distant.”


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