It might be time to quit my job, even if I’m fired, that won’t be for another few weeks, I don’t think i can hang on that long. This workplace environment is just as toxic to my mental health as the others. I’m harbouring extreme hatred or obsession for my coworkers and every time someone speaks to me, it causes me pain, even looking at other people causes distress. As for the hatred, I can see objectively they don’t deserve it but I can’t help how I feel. I just really hate them, I know why I hate them, its petty and illogical, I’m too embarrassed to post it here in case they ever read this. I am aware I’m splitting.
Having fantasies of being arrested at work or having some interesting trait so that people pay me attention and I have friends, silly thought, I’d hate all of that in reality but the idea of it is attractive. My supervisor is quite chill, looks like my old “friend” who smoked weed with me, he likes wrestling, wears a bunch of different shirts, sucks I stopped watching in November. Not that I’d be able to find and opening to discus it anyway and he likes vanilla midgets.
Forgot my spoon again, had to drink my yoghurt in the bathroom again. Work in general was a nightmare, in the first hour I received two calls where the men became angry and said they’d complain about me.
Paki on the crowded morning train wouldn’t scoot up for more people to get on board, he was a balding manlet with fancy phone looking at £2500 BMWs, so a typical paki. I tried to tell him to move by pointing at space but my voice was too low and raspy.
My American Express arrived, it looks cool, I’ll get £250 on it just with my train tickets to court. Still waiting on the Amazon rewards card. I’m mostly done with purchases, apart from the train tickets and dentist which will be expensive, I can start making significant savings. I’m regretting purchasing the Hearthstone wallet instead of a proper one.
My sister randomly had a tantrum, she said some very cruel things to my other sisters whom I too argued with today, I can’t believe those gifts didn’t win me any goodwill. The oldest sister was mad at me for her laptop being confiscated and making it more difficult to do her work.