Squelch (0mp)

Last night I lay down at 8pm, woke up at 3am and couldn’t get back to sleep. Work went by fine, it has really calmed my nerves although I screwed up again, can plead ignorance this time, so not the end of the world. Another bright point is that I have been able to bury my previous mistake to dome extent. I failed my quality assessment again, I’m up to 80% now, still making the same error and that’s a cause for concern.

I can’t explain it but my feelings when I see the not-tranny are so toxic, strong and negative, it causes me extreme emotional distress. The obsession is there again, I’m noticing her arriving 40 minutes early to her shift and trying to listen in on what she’s saying/doing, I felt something when I left notes on the same accounts as her, I don’t know how to fix myself. I can’t stress how strong these feelings are and how bad they make me feel.

I’m on the table with two guys, Man City fan and DnD guy, the others have found free computers among the general populous, feel bad for those stuck with me as I still can’t commuicate with them and I feel bitter towards those who have “ascended”.

Managed to stick to my diet today.

The Indians fucked up already, that’s what happens when you hire monkeys.


9 thoughts on “Squelch (0mp)

  1. why fight your feelings? you feel guilty and conflicted for feeling this hostility toward random stranger A, B or C, why? Stop second guessing yourself. If you dont like someone’s vibe or they rub you up the wrong way, that’s OK. Run with that feeling. You’re allowed to feel whatever you want. You don’t need to be fair or justify yourself to anyone.

    Take charge. Stop seeing yourself through the eyes of other people. There’s a little perception switch in your brain somewhere Poley. You just need to find it and flick it.


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