Filler arc is nearing its conclusion

Skipped lunch but ate poorly at home again, I’ve probably put on weight given how long this has been occurring. Work itself was fine, though I fucked up again, LittleKuriboh was nice about it again. Empty, quiet workplace, still comfy.

Next week will be eventful and comfy too, got my court date and only working two days. Buying individual tickets on the days I’m travelling will be cheaper than purchasing a season ticket, I’m not sure if the hassle will be worth saving around £3.

Digimon World, so far, isn’t as fun as Cyber Sleuth. My sisters and I had an argument when I played on the PS4 for a short while, they said I had only 1 hour to play, I was offended they thought they could place restrictions on me. My brother jokingly dubbed one of my sisters “the guardian of the PS4” and she took it seriously, I hate how my siblings have no sense of family or sharing, I wouldn’t care if they borrowed my books or 3DS even without asking, I can’t understand their mentality at all.

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6 thoughts on “Filler arc is nearing its conclusion

  1. Other people have gone through similar experiences to yourself. Not exactly the same maybe, but close enough that lessons may be learnt (and mistakes avoided)

    I live literally on the opposite side of the world to you, and Im older than you are, and come from a different ethnic background, and probably have a bunch of different life experiences. But regardless of all that, I think we share a lot in common.

    Im happy to describe my background in more detail if you want. Otherwise, suffice to say I grew up without a good paternal role model, and harboured a lot of resentment to my mother. I believe that, at a psychological level, children frame their sense of self with reference to their parents. The views I had about my mother and father were so conflicted. This caused a self identity crisis that lasted well into my adulthood. It caused a lot of unhappiness and self-destructive behaviours. I see these same themes in your own writing.

    What worked for me, in terms of coming to terms with myself, may not work for you. I suppose only you can ultimately find your way. But I’ll tell you this, you’re already a long way ahead of the game. What I mean is, your constant introspection and soul searching has shaped your mind in ways other people (‘normies’) could never understand. If you can learn to be a sociable person, and communicate well, the wisdom and insights you’ve developed will put you light years ahead of almost anyone else. See this as the silver lining.

    I know I didn’t explain my feelings well, but hopefully it makes sense. In any case, play the long game Poley. Don’t get distracted by pettiness and trivia

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    • Thanks, the compliments do make me feel proud though I’m not sure how accurate they are. Also thank you for sharing (though I’d still love some specifics).

      So what do I do with my life right now to make it what I want it to be?
      You’ve given a lot of advice but I don’t think I’m in the right place to take it, it’s too soon.
      Would it be a cop-out to wait until after I start counselling and my trial is over before trying to make friends, maybe a new job/career path?

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    • Yeah, either we’ll get the go ahead for the trial date or it’ll be pushed back again. My solicitor tells me the police still have nothing, so we’ll need to argue they’ve had enough time

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