I am a mountain, I stand alone, strong and proud

I keep fucking up at work and I’m now making the matter worse by not reporting my errors, I feel so worthless asking for help with regular occurring issues, doing so when it’s absolutely my fault and in a way no one else employed there ever has or will, is just too much too take, I’d feel even lower and I don’t know if that’s even possible so I can’t risk it.

The start of the day was stressful, I was on 12-8 shifts this week, so getting in late makes it more difficult to find a working PC and free headset, it makes me very self conscious approaching PCs, learning they’re in use but the person is on break or setting up at one and then learning it has some fault. Then there’s scavenging around for a headset. So what eventually happened today was that I sat on a table a significant distance away from the bulk of the customer service team, that’s a group of 20 people, they were all huddled together and I was outside in the cold, sure there were people on my table, they’re fine people but I felt slighted that I was cast out from the main “table” so I wasn’t a real part of the team. Looking across at that group of people really made me hate them, many of them have a computer they always sit at and for some reason they’re always able to sit there, the others maybe shift around a spot or two and then there’s this new(?) cow who stole the computer I was sitting at last week, I don’t understand why it was mine and not someone elses. Again, felt like I was outside looking in. At first I thought it would be an idea to get in early and “steal” someone elses seat and then every day move over and take another persons, make them all feel the range of emotions I fell but then I thought that it wasn’t worth the aggro, I’m not wanted so I’ll just leave, I’ll continue sitting far away from them all, in my corner.

I should mention, I did sit directly next to someone, a new guy, I helped him out a little. Felt good.

The tranny sat at the big boy table even though they arrived later than me, my fault for not checking it. I heard them speak in the break room,obviously male voice, not even trying, I don’t get it, she was quite social though, they spoke to a couple of people but just about calls they took, their confidence was off-putting. I’m guessing ftm trans now, post HRT, pre-breast removal. Either that or the laziest mtf ever, clearly has breasts and facial hair. 

I just want to be fired.

BT wrongly sent me a NOW TV box even though I cancelled my order. VS System cards arrived too.

My new bank card arrived.

Mum is cellotaping newspaper and a pillow case to the door window into the garden in our living room, she’s paranoid people are spying on her, she sticking stuff to the window because I tore down the curtain and called her out on being an uncivilized paki. It’s a small window that looks into the garden, literally only those living opposite could see through it and even then they’d have to be on the top floor.

Saw an east Asian non-native English speaker with a blonde white American girl, Elliot would be rolling in his grave, saw a paki with a Chinese gf too.

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10 thoughts on “I am a mountain, I stand alone, strong and proud

  1. Would you rather be viewed as attractive (not in a sexual way-just in terms of face aesthetics) by males or females?

    If you answered ‘males’ to the last question – heterosexual or homosexual?

    Would you be interested in being in a monogomous sexual relationship with a homosexual male (assuming you enjoyed his company and found him attractive etc) if he were a ‘bottom’ and insisted that you be the ‘top’ on every occasion?

    Would you rather be a member of a social circle (assuming they offered you unconditional friendship and acceptance) comprised of (a) heterosexual women, (b) homosexual men, (c) transgender men, (d) heterosexual men?

    Like

    • I suppose I’d rather be viewed as attractive by females since in my opinion that translates into respect

      I am not a top, I would never be in a relationship that required me to be, sure I’m prepared to make concessions in a relationship but the idea of using my penis is a little gross to me

      Like

      • You need to have realistic expectations about your life. You have already crossed over into what most of normal society regards as a freak. When it is more visible than it is now, even the people who theoretically support your rights — as I do — will not want to be around you. You will make people uncomfortable just by existing near them (you think you already do, which is your mental illness preying upon your paranoia and low self esteem. You have no idea how obvious it will be, with the nervous smiles and stares, when you’re in full faggot glory.)

        This is especially true among women. There are fag hags but most of them prefer male cucks to act like gossiping hens with. You will be regarded as a potential threat, a deviant. The law forces society to interact with you to some degree, but nobody will voluntarily do so more than required. In real life, trannies interact with other trannies, weird fetishists that want to eat their shit, and the occasional angel who wants to earn their wings. Mostly they interact with no one but the doctors unfortunately assigned to keeping up the thin veneer of femininity that time is wrecking and the myriad health problems as their organs rot from being flushed with hormones.

        People born with visible deformities are higher on the ladder than you, because at least they didn’t choose to look like a monster.

        Like

    • oh and I’d like best to be friends with heterosexual women, no doubt, by a massive mile, it’s common to want to befriend people either like yourself or how you view yourself/aim to be

      It’d be fine being friends with the other groups, friends are friends but if someone wants to live their life as a woman wouldn’t you expect them to incorporate female friends as part of that new life?

      Like

      • Women by and large do not prefer the company of castratos whispering in a falsetto and acting like girls in gook cartoons.

        Like

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