It’s over

Work was terrible, my login codes weren’t working so I had to go to a manager like a little kid and ask them to do stuff for me after every 5 calls or so. I found it stressful having to speak so to people so often. If my logins still arentr working the next time at work, I think I’m quitting. A guy tried speaking to me again, a student, he’s quirky, didn’t know how to respond.

I’ve tried photographing my face, my chin area looks terrible, I don’t know if it can get better or how, it might just be better to quit the transition and try anti-depressants. I look hideous, there are some flattering reflections but they’re not honest. A big decision to make tomorrow on whether or not to continue with laser. I’m going to take 100mg Sertaline tonight.

I’ll book another GP appointment tomorrow and just ask for the drugs. I can admit I’m too much of a coward to kill myself, I might as well lessen my suffering with pills, brainwash myself again, stop caring.


7 thoughts on “It’s over

  1. yo im the mozart request guy from ages ago, so happy to see the blog is back! is a shame all the shit you’ve had to put up with in the last few years – but props for not completely giving up. If you’re ever in London I would love to meet you! is proper BS all the shit youve had from the feds, told my friend who’s a cop about it all and he said it was shit as well – some of the higher ups are just retarded


    • London, eh? If I ever go down there it would pretty much be a holiday, not as if work would get me there.
      Thanks though, hopefully we can hang out sometime

      As for the cops, just like everyone else involved, they’ll feel true justice once I get my turn after I’m found innocent.


      • I really don’t think you’re a bad person at all. I mean you have made some mistakes, but so has everyone. It’s just for some unlucky reason the consequences of yours really screwed you over.

        I think I lost access to the blog in september 2015 time so I spent hours last night getting up to date with it all. It really did make me upset to see how unhappy you’ve been! I wish I could have helped, I was in a pretty shit place myself a while back and I saw so much of myself in you. I think the only difference now is I had a few life long friends and non-paki family that helped me out of it. If my luck was anything like yours I really don’t think I would have been as strong as you have been, you’ve seriously gone through hell but you never completely gave up – i really respect that

        if you ever need someone to talk to i’ll be there for you man. my email is , if you do send a message can you attach a picture with a piece of paper saying poleaboo with your hormone pills or your arm etc just so i know its you

        it really made my day when you included Mozart in the title haha, still think about it sometimes


      • Stop enabling him.

        Every time someone says what he wants to here he ignores everything else.


      • >It’s just for some unlucky reason the consequences of yours really screwed you over.

        Actually, the opposite is true.

        People have gone to jail for the stuff Poley has done (hidden camera etc.) He’s been incredibly lucky to escape the consequences of his actions.

        I know you’re trying to help but you’re completely fucking him over by feeding his victim complex. He needs to understand that he is not the victim and face up to his behaviour if he ever wants to move on and become a better person.


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