Didn’t care anyway

Work went until the final hour, my manager arranged a team meeting due to her leaving for a new career. At around 3.30pm she began rounding up people, I wasn’t addressed directly but she came over to the desk I was sitting at and said “Everyone in my team go into idle and go to the meeting room”, I finished up with my call, took a look around at the others leaving the room and then I checked the break sheet, I noted everyone that was leaving had a “t” next to their names due to being booked in for a team meeting at this time by planning, I however didn’t have that, instead I had a break coming up, why would planning give me a break now if I was supposed to be a part of the farewell meeting? I was hurt being left out, though I wasn’t 100% sure that was the case, I didn’t ask for clarification as my manager left quickly and it’d be awkward if I asked and the answer was “no”.

During this period, I spoke to another manager about work stuff and she asked if I should be in the team meeting, I said no and mentioned my break, in hindsight I sounded like I was avoiding it. Everyone returned about 30 minutes later, less than 10 people, even this one guy who was newer than me. This really hurt me, I don’t understand why I was the one person excluded, I wasn’t close to tears but I am upset. I believe this caused me massively fuck up later in the day on multiple levels.

I guess I’m feeling antagonistic towarda my manager now.

During lunch I was again unable to stay in and eat in the break room, too many people, instead of my packed lunch I bought a sandwich and Lucozade. The DnD guy and trans person weren’t in today, I’m sure we work the same shift pattern, maybe they both booked holidays today? At least it means DnD guy was excluded too.

On the way home some entitled paki cow pushed in front of me to get onto the train, to irk her I sat directly opposite her an took up leg room under the table.

Rank 3 on Hearthstone.

Ate 2 Snickers again. It’s hard to feel to bad when I can’t check my weight.

I’m having daily arguments with my family now, my sisters hate me and shout at me whenever I speak.

Got a GP appointment tomorrow, I’ll just ask for some antidepressants and leave.


6 thoughts on “Didn’t care anyway

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