yay, I made it

I couldn’t post yesterday due to my insane mother hiding my tablet. Work was fine, my manager is still being a bit too nice to me, allowing me more responsibility, asking how I am and overlooking my screwups. We had our monthly one to one meeting yesterday and she decided to pass my probation, I’m now a fully fledged employee. I don’t feel anything regarding this, I don’t want to be here forever but a small pay rise will be nice. As for my managers attitude, it’s nice to be partially understood but I don’t want to be seen or treated as a freak.

My manager asked if I wanted any more training, I declined, she look at me with pity and loathing.

I also spent an hour on my own working on responding to email, it seems easy if I just pick out the softer queries and the old ones that are already resolved because the sender got sick of waiting and called in.

My brother came around today, we didn’t speak. It’s just too apparent he hates me, so I can’t be bothered making an effort.

Played Digimon for several hours.

The glasses I ordered online look terrible on me, the frame is too thick and it accentuates my negative features.


3 thoughts on “yay, I made it

  1. You tend to focus on negatives. Written with a more positive mindset your day could have been described quite differently

    E.g. Successfully passed probation at work today. This means I get a pay rise. I was given a new thing to do at work today, responding to emails. It’s easy and I can goof off a bit. My new spectacles arrived in the post today. My mother saw reason and returned my laptop. My brother visited today.


    • I can’t just ignore negatives, especially when they’re the only detail of events that sticks with me. I do feel positive emotions occasionally and do state them, it’s just rare.

      Also, I’ll admit, there were events that were mildly positive at surface level but having experienced them, I can’t reflect on them in any way but with complete misery.


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