Sertaline isn’t working

I was in a bad mood from the start of the day, the clothes I ordered aren’t the right size. I’m completely lost now, I’m just going to have to return and take another punt. I say this but I’m too depressed to try.

This week I appear to be spending half the day on emails and the other half on the phone. The first half of the day, on email, I spend it being stressed out, due to limited training and all the easy queries being resolved, there’s only a limited amount of emails I can respond to. I’ve left it too long to ask for help, especially since I know I’ve massively fucked up refunding a few dozen people, that’s going to cost someone money. The worst part is that I am “the chosen one”, I’m the newest member of staff assigned to emails, several people have been impressed by my stats but I’m just a fraud, I feel like quitting, I don’t want to be around when this blows up. Might ask to be taken off emails, just say it’s too difficult.

I actually like talking to people on the phone, I can either be helpful, this raises my self-esteem plus I get a thank you at the end. Alternatively I can let out some aggression, implying customers can fuck off with their problems due to terms and conditions.

Talked a little to this quiet loner sitting next to me today, he’s one of the new people.

They were giving out baseball caps at work, they were left in the break room and free to pick up, I saw them on entry but wasn’t brave enough to collect one. At the end of the day they were all gone, people who arrived after me got caps, it hurt seeing them happily wearing them at the end of the day.

Ate cereal, tuna baguette and rice.


3 thoughts on “Sertaline isn’t working

  1. Those ‘good worker credits’ you earned when everyone thought you were doing a great job will insulate you from the consequences of screwing up. You’ll lose the ‘chosen one’ status and your reputation will be irreperably tarnished (you may also receive ridicule from peers who secretly resented the special attention you received!) but the earlier praise and public recognition will protect you from being sacked or badly reprimanded.


    • I’m not afraid of being fired, I would be happy if this was over, no more stress.

      What I’m afraid of is the disappointment and inability to explain why I made the mistakes I did.

      I don’t think you understand how badly I’ve been screwing up, I’ve been incorrectly issuing refunds, this means the company is going to lose money, that’s pretty much the biggest possible form of screw up


  2. It’s not a big a deal as you think. Don’t give this job more weight in your life than it deserves. Don’t give these people power over you.


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