I had counselling today.
He made observations similar to people who commented here, he said that I may be transitioning because I hate my father and want to be less like him. He pointed out how I consider myself inferior to everyone but also superior because I wish demise to others, he didn’t call me a narcissist through.
About half an hour into the session, I said counselling wasn’t working, my problems are minor, I just need to get on with it and I wanted to stop. He countered by saying that he thought I had real serious problems and he wanted to consultant with a psychiatrist or something, I’m a candidate for long term psych (or something like that). I think he just said that to manipulate me.
After this we also went back to speaking about gender, again I think to appease me since he was more interested in my communication skills.
During the last 5 minutes, we spoke about religion being stupid, spineless paki women and my mother. How life would have been different if mum left dad. This was when I started crying heavily, I thought back to when I was 3 years old, it was just me and her, she worked, she was happy, we spent all day together, she was my only friend.
I cried uncontrollably like a baby, I can’t remember the last time I cried like that. I then asked to end the session.