Eid Mubarak all over again

My father tried waking me up for Eid prayers but I refused, I was just too tired to even give it consideration. A few hours later, I was still too tired to come down and eat with the family but I pulled myself together and went downstairs. I chowed down on some spring rolls and rice. My cousin was here too. My youngest sister would be missing the rest of the day due to working her part time job. The conversation was mostly fine but my sister snapped at me when I asked about botox.

It took some time for everyone to get dressed but when were done, we went over to my grandmothers house, as we do every Eid. I had showered beforehand too and my hair was becoming frizzier, it’s something I’m going to look into taming using the CG method.

At my grandmothers, I encountered some more family and we talked and ate. My grandmother told me to cut my hair, I wasn’t happy to hear that. I shared my new learned knowledge about “wobblers” with everyone but no one seemed aware of the term.

After this we want my family home and did the same thing again. I thought it was too cold and my dad started up the electric fireplace in the frontroom, I’d never seen it activated before. It working like one of those heating fans. I brought out some Diet Pepsi and after taking a sip was horrified to learn it was out of date. I declared that I would go to the Cash & Carry my father bought it from and get this sorted out tomorrow. I asked him for the receipt, he said he didn’t have one and that he paid with cash.

At around 5pm we took a break from each other and convened at my brothers place in Manchester, he has an excellent view of the city and now that he can actually afford to live here, I’m quite impressed by it all. We didn’t stay too long though, my youngest sisters are staying the night there. My brothers flatmate has gone on holiday. My uncle travelled with us and I didn’t respond to him much because I found it frustrating how he kept passively criticising my father.

I was pretty exhausted after the days events and went to sleep soon afterwards.

Today I made it a priority to head to the Cash & Carry to get the Pepsi business sorted, my father had found the receipt and left it on my TV stand. After showering and before breakfast, I marched straight there, through a door with a sign above that read “no entry”, then to the first empty till I could see. A scarf monkey was manning it, I told them that I want my money back and showed them the expired bottle, I was given back a full £1 instead of 99p along with an apology, I wasn’t happy about how the monkey laughed though. She said something in her language to a fellow staff member which I assumed was her asking him to check the stock.

I did the same myself and snapped a picture of more out of date bottle of Diet Pespi before returning to tell the guy that there was more and to get rid of it, don’t know if he understood English. I then bumped into an older man who smiled at me, he seemed to ask if everything was OK, I barked at him to “get rid of your out of date stock”.

I now patiently wait for my night shift to start. I’ll be watching WWE Raw (saw SummerSlam last night, it wasn’t memorable out the the actions of “The Fiend”) and John Oliver while scoffing down the remaining Eid food.

31 thoughts on “Eid Mubarak all over again

  1. why you always have to scoff and gobble and chow down
    whats wrong with eating
    and why do you bark at shop employees like a middle aged single mother

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  2. Be sure to check out the Black Sabbath museum display in Birmingham Moni. It’s quite good and a good history lesson on your favourite genre of music.

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  3. You touched kids at the amusement park and referred to them as “cunny”. If you had some kind of explanation then maybe I could understand it, but considering you are saying nothing, you leave me no choice other than to contact Vodaphone about it.

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      • It is true.

        Many of us have seen the posts and the blog posts before you edited them.

        One of these days your lies are going to get you into trouble. Imagine someone got angry enough to post your Paki Sissy tumblr photos to your dad or something.

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      • You could say “Yes, I did and said some awful things in the past. I am deeply sorry about them. I have never been attracted to children, I was just making off colour jokes, but even that was very wrong.”

        But that would take some kind of social skill. So instead you just deny things that most of us have seen with our own eyes, and end up looking like a complete paedo.

        Well done.

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  4. I don’t think your self-identity crisis is because you’re ‘a third generation immigrant’. It’s mostly due to the contradictory influences of Amma and Abba. Let me explain.

    Your mother was born in England. Her family resided there since the early c20th. While nominally Islamic and adhering to traditional values, she’s been exposed since birth to an enlightened Anglo worldview

    Meanwhile, your father was born a member of the untouchable class to a poor peasant family in the deep Pakistani hinterland. His perspective is shrouded in religion, superstition and tribal mentality

    Like your father, you were born small, black and hairy. And you inherited his sense of male entitlement, lack of self-awareness and toxic misogyny.

    But at the same time, your mother has given you insight into what it is to be English, and all the refined traditions and sensibilities this entrails

    It’s been impossible for you to reconcile these two contributions to your identity. The stress and opposing pulls have torn you mind apart

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  5. Yep, there we go. Poley comes here to reply then doesn’t post an entry.

    The end of this WordPress is nigh. He may claim otherwise but it’s coming.

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    • It’s just because I do some night shifts Tuesday-Wednesday so I’m not sure when to post, before or after work. Just got back now, will sleep and post when I wake up or at the end of the day before my next sleep

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    • It’s insane that he’s working nights these days.

      The only thing worse than working in a call centre for a shit wage would be working nights in a call centre for a shit wage. And he volunteered for it! Sometimes I can’t believe how thick he is.

      Now it’s destroying the one decent thing in his life, this blog.

      Well done Poley you complete idiot. Whenever you have a decision to make, you 100% always choose the wrong thing. It’s like clockwork.

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