Definitely a normie now

Managed to hold 4 conversations today. I was mainly just regurgitating my last blog entry, most notably the shouting match with the customer. My entries are boring now because they can pass as normie small talk, writing here has helped me solve my original problem. Maybe need someone to talk to about the sexual stuff, can’t do it with a non-virgin though.

Soon after starting work the new little blonde approached me and said I would be training her today. Worried as this is the only ride I am trained to operate they are trying to phase me out of the rotation. Easy to talk to her as she was below me in the hierarchy, I saw her as inferior, so no pressure. Talked about the ride and work shit.

Guy got fired yesterday for being a nonce. Used that word twice in conversation today, hope it just means peado and not homo.

Saw my Chinese roommate on the bus, after he got off realised that I was so self absorbed I didn’t even ask him what he was up to. I am happy to call him my friend.

Spoke to Chad in the kitchen, again all me. He eventually left the kitchen. Looks like I’m top dog now. Not feeling any animosity towards him anymore, will not piss in his milk.

First conversion of the day was initiated by this kid who I had brief interactions with at the end of the previous two days while closing the park. He asked me what was up and we talked about work shit and a friend of his joined us. Getting familiar with more and more people at work.

Tried helping with that thing I am supposed to help with, packing away the giant bouncy castle. One again I appeared inept, not knowing how to contribute to the process. By now people must have pretty strong opinions on me. Stupid but not lazy.

Also locked the door wrong again, looked stupid in front of the technician.

And folding tarps at the start of the day.

Someone left donuts on the ride. I was thinking of taking then home but did the right thing and took then to lost and found. Colleagues were eating them at the end of the day.

Working 6 days, 45 hours, next week.

Girl who works in the arcade, think she’s a cleaner, Polish, has a mouth/smirk/smile exactly like another female who I was allegedly obsessed over for a while. Some say it looks like fetal alcohol syndrome but I like it, the expression can be read several ways, so much character in it.

Not sure what’s going on with the golf girl, exchanged smiles and said ‘hi’ to her but she seemed less energetic than usual.

That Islamic fundamentalist stuff wasn’t well thought out. I’d join any club or community that welcomed me. Too lazy to do the research so it’s unrealistic unless an Anjum Choudrey takes me under his wing.

Did give pakis with the wrong wristbands a pass 3 times today. Not as satisfying disappointing them, probably projecting onto them.

Stealing tokens is the main thing people get fires for, big money in it, double up my wages.

Need to figure out who I am. What I like, hate and believe in.