Today was the first day of the rest of my work life in my current role. I did the bare minimum of work, that’s only 70 emails answered and some of those weren’t even replies, just me moving them into another queue but they counted towards my productivity anyway. This was accomplished around 12pm so 3 hours into my shift.
Next is where the “fun” began. I started off by openly working on my CV and searching for jobs at my desk, I soon got bored and just went to the break room to play Hearthstone. Lunch at 1, got a chicken mayo baguette and a coke zero. I clocked back in then immediately went back to the break room to play more Hearthstone. I popped back to my desk for 5 minutes to see if anyone noticed I’d been gone or gave the slightest fuck. Back to the break room and out of boredom I engaged a couple of guys in conversation, there were only 2 of them and I spoke to them before, the little guy and chatty older guy. The older guy soon left but was replaced by another guy I’d had some experience speaking to when working. I bitched to all of them about how unappreciated I was feeling, that it didn’t matter, no one cared. I hit my target, that’s my job, nothing more, nothing else at all is expected or wanted from me.
Turns out male #3 liked Hearthstone and the little guy liked WWE, decent power level but lower than mine, he knew about smarks but not “Vanilla Midgets” or $5 wrestling. The conversation was weaker than expecting, they didn’t seem to want to talk to me, just get on with their late lunches. I then returned to my desk at 3:30pm in the hope that someone would care but no. I sat down for a few then got up and to put on my coat. That got a few peoples attention, I was asked if I was going on lunch due to being on a late shift, I said I wasn’t, that I’m just going into town for an hour since I hit my target ages ago. The former bully asked if I could do that, I said I don’t know but I will until told otherwise.
I just wandered around, window shopped, browsed comics, went into a new shop, it sucked. Back at work, I did nothing then killed the final half an hour with more Hearthstone, had to cut a game short since it was time to leave.
The new girl is a massive trigger for me, every time someone comes up to speak to her, I get up to leave because I can’t fucking stand it. It probably shows on my face. My manager annoys the fuck out of me too, she assigns special tasks and crap to everyone else but me, she initiates conversation with everyone but me, I thought she didn’t know I existed and today I was proven right, she has nothing for me. What triggered me at the beginning of the day was that I was just assigned “oldest” emails, that’s fucking nothing. It’s what you get when there’s nothing specific for you.
Exceeding the targets I’ve been set for 4 months, since I started, has gotten me nowhere, I’ve literally never even got so much as a “well done”. Yet, a lesser being has been seemingly rewarded. There is no fairness in this game, without fairness there are no rules or at least they’re worthless. So from now on I’ll start playing the game by my own rules, I am already god, it’s the mission of the minnows around me to simply survive.
Quirky guy was off sick. Tall guy got a new job, leaving next week. I bitched to him too.
At home I went upstairs soon after arriving. Still struggling to get into Digimon, I instead spent most of the time watching Black Mirror and Black Lightning. Both were OK.
Couldn’t find anything to use the £10.00 Amazon discount on.
I shouted at my dad again, he wants to spend time with me but I just want to be left alone. He was upset. I came downstairs for a short while like he wanted me to and I invited him to do an activity with me he hasn’t don’t before. He seemed much happier.