There have been some difficult realisations since my last entry but I’ll start in chronological order. I spent Wednesday through Friday playing “Tales of Arise”, I got the platinum, didn’t see myself going for it at first but I thoroughly enjoyed the game and it wasn’t at all challenging. I began playing “Doom: Eternal” next, it’s quite difficult, even on the easy setting, it gives me some anxiety, I might not finish this one, the biggest disappointment is that I’m not able to play it in 120 frames per second mode, must be an issue with my TV.
My driving instructor cancelled my driving lesson this week. My dentist also cancelled my appointment, I’ve read online that people have been having this issue with them for over a month, there’s apparently only one dentist at the practice currently. The greatest cause of anxiety at the moment is learning how impossible it is to book a driving test, they are literally fully booked up, I can’t check dates beyond a year into the future, I’m not sure what to do or if it’s even worth continuing to take lessons.
A couple of months ago, at work, some Krispy Creme doughnuts were left in another office, I helped myself to 2 of the remaining 3 but word got out that there had been 6 or 7 and that if there was only 1 remaining, I must have had 6. I refuted this but it became a running gag. I thought it would be a good idea to buy some of those same doughnuts for my workmates as it’s around Xmas time, I woke up early and paid £14 for the privilege. When I got to work though, I found most people didn’t want any, I ended up having 5 of them myself, on the plus side, one guy kept telling visitors that I bought doughnuts and if they wanted one, though he’d use my name and no one would know who I was. It was a nice gesture, I feel bad that my treats didn’t go down well.
i had anotje house viewing, it’s basically 1 bedroom plus 1 box room. However, it’s the cheapest place on the market without some glaring fault but my father does get very angry whenever I suggest buying a house or buying a house that costs less than £150k. I just want to buy something comfortably in my means and work part time.
My mother organised a birthday party for my youngest sister. My brother and his white gf attended, she has always been very nice to my mother, humouring her even though she has little world experience but still my mother felt the need to attack my brother and his gf for not being legally married, she felt that she would be embarrassed in the local community because of paki reasons. My brothers gf even muttered when my mother left the room “I know she loves me but I think she has a problem with me not being Asian”. The superiority complex of Pakistanis is astounding, my mother has barely a penny to her name whereas the white gf will inherit £200k on her mother’s death and book royalties, yet my mother thinks she should be honoured to be marrying into our family. I came to understand the background of this a bit better later on, my aunt was showing my mother videos of Pakistanis with mansions in our ancestral village, she kept repeating the phrase “they’re so far ahead of us!”, It wasn’t clear who she meant by “they” and “us”. My mother said that videos like this upset her because their family “post everything”, this seems to make sense as I recall my mother talking about how she and her siblings lived in a big house during her childhood, it seems her father’s death forced the family to downsize due to no longer having an income.
My youngest sister refused to stay the night and got a.lift off her 30+ year old white bf home, I get the impression she’s not allowed to stay over, she also have dark/heavy bags under her eyes, my educated guess would be that she is being sexually trafficked by him in some way.
Human Garbage 