No Chansey

I don’t remember what I did yesterday, I played a bit of Yakuza 0 and watched multiple episodes of Naruto. Today I finished watching the canon episodes of Naruto and it was fulfilling, it’s a series I was first introduced to over a decade ago and now having watched it animated, I can tie up that thread, the finale was much better in anime form.

I took a trip to the library to print my coach ticket, on the way back I opened up Pokemon GO and spotted a Chansey some distance away in an unfamiliar part of town, I took the decision to walk over 4km. Probably looked foolish walking around while staring at my phone but I enjoyed mildly physically exerting myself, eventually I cam across a pack of white youths and a paki on the other side of the road to them, I felt there was symbolism here but the strongest emotion was disgust for all I could see. The rare Pokemon had disappeared as I was still 5-10 minutes away from my destination.

On my way home I stopped at a takeaway, it was the one I often visited during my previous period in NEETdom but they had now moved to a new premises. Got a “kobedi on naan”, been over a year since I had one of these, costs about the same as an Arizonas burger meal but this makes me feel less disgusting. The place itself is attempting to be a restaurant now but it was empty, I feel the nasheeds blaring in the background play a part in this.

Had some stimulating discussions on 4chan, ventured off my comfort boards. My 4chan pass got banned again, I was kinda asking for it by calling out the janny.

Vacuumed the floor of my bedroom.

The mask of “chirpiness”

I woke up at 11:15am, ate cereal and showered. Put on my Iron Maiden t-shirt before heading off for my probation appointment. The receptionist remembered my name this time and after 10 minutes of waiting, I was greeted by my original case worker, for some reason he gave me a nickname, a female one. It was random, I don’t know what he meant by it. He smiled, I liked that.

We went into a room, he asked what was going on with me and I mentioned my work situation. He then asked about my homelife and I responded by telling him that several family members have left and I spend most of my time in my room. He said that a 22k/year job was good and was impressed that I was making eye contact, along with coming across much more “chirpy” and less “objectionable” than in previous meetings. I observed that I hadn’t been given anything to object to. Finally I was asked if there was anything I wanted to talk about, I said not and that was it, wrapped up in under 5 minutes. We then proceeded to book an appointment for next month, I fiddled with my phone a bit, opening the wrong app twice before correctly opening the calendar. That was the highlight of my day and now it’s over, I even told him as much, that I was upbeat because I was out of the house and talking to someone different but it didn’t lead anywhere, he didn’t ask about my Iron Maiden t-shirt either.

At home I ate chicken and played Yakuza 0. I thought I might incorporate this as part of my identity and go onto playing all the games in the series but I don’t enjoy it enough and it appears time consuming. It’s finally dawning on me that building up my trophy list is not the best way to spend my time and craft an identity.

Set my status on PSN as “appear offline” so quirky guy can’t see how pathetic I am.

I’m watching YouTube videos instead of exploring newer, richer media since it’s faster to access.

Tomorrow could be a trigger

I didn’t leave the house yesterday or today. Not playing vidya either, not sure where the time is going. Almost finished watching all the canon episodes of the Naruto anime, less than 7 hours remaining. Might start playing the Yakuza series since I failed to find anything else to fill my time with.

Naturally, I also overate. Started making peanut butter sandwiches part of my diet.

Finished reading my DragonBall manga, the Buu saga is poorer than I remember.

I watched some football in the background. I’ve decided I’m not really a a fan so I won’t be attending any more games. I’ve got a ticket for one more game but won’t use it. It’s something familiar I can put on in the background to be comfy.

Hoping my appointment with my caseworker tomorrow will be refreshing. I never got a time, just a date, so will turn up at noon. Might just request that I do some unpaid work to get me out of the house.

Still can’t get to bed before 2am or wake up before 1pm. There’s a link but it’s a vicious cycle.

The day is approaching

Today was not the day either, the magic moment where the world shifts did not occur. I woke up at 1pm and watched a few musicals, the NBC production of “Jesus Chris Superstar”, it was disappointing and the FOX production of Rocky Horror, it was crap. While doing this I was posting on 4chan and getting some social interaction. Watched “WWE Hell in a Cell”, I don’t think I find wrestling interesting anymore.

At around 6pm I went outside, my plan was to buy more Coke Zero from ASDA but when I opened up Pokemon GO, I spotted a Chansey so set off for the town centre, it didn’t take long to get there but when I did I saw some youths and a large unleashed dog. Thought it safer to dodge the area and do a complete 180 turn. At ASDA I picked up my drinks and doughnuts.

Not sure where the time went when I got back home, watched YouTube videos again but that doesn’t account for 6 hours that have mostly vanished from my memory.

I’ve booked my coach ticket for my trip to London to watch a play. It’ll be my first time seeing Buckingham Palace but that’s not a big deal to me, I just want to see the play.

Another clean break

No vidya today, this is my latest chance to kick that bug since I don’t have anything new to sink my time into. Instead I posted on 4chan, watched Naruto, went for a 2km walk and read 200 pages of DragonBall manga.

The 2km walk was satisfying, moreso than usual since it took place while it was raining, this soothed my anxiety. While walking I was playing Pokemon GO again, this s actually what spurred me to attempt walking again, I spotted a Chansey near the town hall but unfortunately did not reach the destination quickly enough.

My mother hasn’t made an effort to communicate with me recently but I finally answered one of my fathers calls from Pakistan. We only spoke for a couple of minutes, he said it was too hot over there.

Something from yesterday that slipped my mind, on the train back from the football, I initially sat in a seat where I could see a former co-worker (the guy I also encountered back in July, tall guy). He had his headphones on and I was tired so I left the carriage and found a seat on the opposite side of the train. I was also embarrassed that I was currently, technically, unemployed and worried that conversation may dry up quickly.

The 0.1%

Not posted for the last 2 days since outside of a 1km walk, my day consisted of nothing other than playing Dragon Quest. That’s now over though as after 90 hours of playtime, I finally joined the ranks of the 0.1% of people who have achieved the platinum trophy on this game. The postgame story left a sour taste in my mouth, it involves time travel, that always muddies things.

I was able to lift my bones out of bed at a little after noon, since I bought a ticket for the Manchester City vs Fulham game, I may as well attend. Didn’t know there were train strikes so with that in addition to the busy tram service, I missed the first couple of minutes of the game and the first goal. It annoyed me t hear normies asking if for directions to the stadium, not fair they can be so casual about being casuals. At the stadium, I sat next to some large, older men. They were loud, passionate and animated. They often broke into songs, chants and spouted abuse. There volume was not comfy but I enjoyed listening to people around me talk normally about the team and game.

During the game, I observed that people both like and hate Sane, while the most common chant of the day was “LEROY”, the same people would call him lazy and other things whenever he disappointed them (which was often). David Silva is the most popular player, fans stood up at the 31st minute and clapped while singing “stand up for the champion”, I understand it’s something to do with his premature kid. People like Delph, not a bad word to say about it, also one of the most popular players in the squad. Still giving Mahrez time. Raheem Sterling is usually referred to by his first name.

I zoned out often, this is just not interesting to me, it’s still entirely a chore.

I left a couple of minutes before the final whistle in order to attempt to beat the queues for the tram, the game had been dead for a while so I could see the stadium was half empty by the time I got up. In the queue waiting for the tram, a guy referred to me as “duck”, assuming it means something like “chick”.

Not sure what I’ll do with my day tomorrow.

More DQ

As soon as I woke up I played Dragon Quest. I only took breaks to eat (watched an episode of “Disenchantment” while doing so).

I’ve finished the main story, onto the post-game and new/extra story tomorrow. The final boss took around an hour, I was at level 50, it was a good decent battle even if I did win on my first attempt.

Need to shower and read up on the new job, I was emailed some materials on what it’ll involve but with Dragon Quest, I haven’t been able to make the time. It feels intimidating since I can feel my brain cells having dulled this last month.

Good Going!

Once again I woke up after 2pm. After eating breakfast I went out for a 1km walk and once I got back I started on Dragon Quest, that’s where the day ended. Didn’t even post of 4chan.

At about 4pm, I noticed that the quirky guy had messaged me on PSN just before 8am. Just said “on way” and then a couple of hours later followed up with “great interview”. Not entirely sure what to make of that, it’s nice that he thought enough of me to send me a message so early in the morning on his morning travels but the messages are so bare bones, I’d be doing all the work if I were to respond so I guess he doesn’t want to talk to me and that he only told me the interview was great to stop me from asking him. What confuses this theory is that he messaged me twice, two hours apart.

I wasn’t sure what to do so did nothing. I wouldn’t want to put him in the awkward position of thinking he had to reply to me to be polite.

What I would have liked to have said is that him hitting it out the park was never in doubt since he can do anything I can do better.

Going to sleep at 4am. Sleep pattern is getting worse.

Remembered

I woke up after 1pm again, I’ll be forced to correct my sleep pattern for the football on Saturday so there’s no need to make it happen sooner. Before booting up Dragon Quest, I first went to town to get a first class stamp and post my DBS certificate to my new employer. Back home, I ate chicken baguettes and watched Last Week Tonight.

Shockingly, I then decided to go for another walk, just around the block, playing Pokemon GO. Got a total of about 1.5km in today.

All road though do lead to Dragon Quest and that’s what the remainder of my day became.

At 10pm, or thereabouts, I received a message through PSN. It was the quirky guy, it felt astounding to know he had not forgotten me, the last time we had seen each other was 35 days ago at Iron Maiden. His message was simple “U started ur new job yet?”, I had downloaded the PSN app so also got a notification through that regarding the message, tried sending a message back using it since the keyboard would be most efficient but there was a “network error” so I had to type up my message via the PlayStation. I wrote 4 sentences, all grammatically correct, none of that “u” or “ur” nonsense. My first sentence addressed his question, I told him that background checks were ongoing and only today did I send off my DBS certificate. My second sentence stated that I regretted leaving, I was burned out and that I wish I was working again – this added a personal dimension. Next I asked if he had applied to any more jobs – asking questions is what extends the conversation. Finally I closed off with comments on Dragon Quest. It took 15 minutes to send.

His reply was quick, another short one “applied to ur place, interview 2moz”. Naturally, I proceeded to dump all the information I could recall about my interview at that location along with tips. Another lengthy reply that took 10-15 minutes. His reply was short again, he first said he applied to a different role, then copy pasted the spec and asked if it looked good. My reply just confirmed that I had also applied to that job and that it was a back up, advised him not to expect to leave his current employer anytime soon. He did not reply after this but checking the PSN app later I could see he sent me a “real name request”, I accepted though by this time It was past midnight.

I can see on the surface of it he contacted me for info on the interview but perhaps he also saw it as just as an excuse to contact me? I know I’ve been looking for excuses (and now I have one for tomorrow). Bit disappointed he didn’t bite and want to converse about anything else, not sure what I did wrong or if the opportunity was never really there.

Turns out I’m actually only 1/3 of the way through Dragon Quest. The final third is the post-game.

Another failure

I set my alarm for 9pm but I was still far too exhausted to get out of bed, so I went back to sleep and eventually got up at 2pm. Around this time I was informed that a Subway sandwich was waiting for me and the builder who was working on my mothers room had left.

I played Dragon Quest for about 4 hours and then had a shower. My sister again shouted at me for daring to leave a couple of my hairs near the drain of the shower floor. This time I cleaned them up after my mother brought up the topic.

After this I went back to playing Dragon Quest, I believe I’m now 2/3 of the way through.

Tomorrow is a Monday so it’s probably good that my schedule for the didn’t go as planned, it’s much more suited for tomorrow since I can also work in a trip to the post office.

Will also try to dedicate an hour to reading too.