Something I haven’t done before

I would have liked to have gotten more sleep but my body clock forced me up at 10am, I spent the first few hours unwinding. Eventually I overheard conversation downstairs between my mother and my cousin, the one getting married soon. I took part for a while but then I was pushed into going with my cousin to some paki shop that’s having a sale to buy my wedding clothes.

I proceeded to shower and change my clothes, I then hopped into the car with my cousin where she drove me to a paki clothes shop in Manchester. On the way, I made my usually commentary on race and lamented the state of the places we were passing through. The shop was crammed full of clothing rails and there were signs stating “NO REFUNDS, NO EXCHANGES, NO TRIALS”, typical paki policy. The clothes at the paki place weren’t as offensive as I expected, there were these matador looking jackets and even these cool old timey military type ones. This wasn’t what I was after though, I needed something white and not too flashy. I tried one outfit on in the changing room to learn my size, I didn’t like how it looked though, my body shape isn’t flattered by male clothing. In the end, I settled for an outfit that cost £25, I paid with my credit card even though I was advised against it, I’ll keep an eye on my transactions and if anything suspect happens, I’ll know where to look.

On the way home, my cousin talked me into visiting her mother as we hadn’t seen each other in a while, we chatted for a short while, I tried encouraging as she’s a little down but my energy reserves were already faltering at this point and I was aware of the time, it was 6pm. At home, I watched the most recent episode of “Game of Thrones”, that was another 90 minutes gone.It was now too late in the day to get anything significant done and I was fatigued from the day events, so my fabled “plan B” had to be put on hold until Saturday, the next time I have a day off from work. While using my PlayStation 4 console to play “Game of Thrones”, I noticed my brother had finished with “Devil May Cry 5” and was replaying older games, with his birthday coming up soon, I’m planning to purchase “Spider-man” and “God of War” for him.

For the next hour or so, I listened to YouTube videos while busting open 36 packs of “Magic the Gathering” booster packs. I got a few more mythic rare cards but it was ultimately highly unfulfilling and a waste of money, on the plus side, at least I’ve gotten it out of my system and I’ll likely never purchase MtG products again. It would be nice though if I had someone to play with.

Today should be considered a win, while I didn’t get to enact my plan or shop for dresses (there’s an online sale), I did do something social and fun.

Did I even live today?

Before work, I busted open 10 of my “Magic the Gathering” packs, it wasn’t very satisfying, I pulled one Mythic rare card, I should have bought Pokemon cards since even the commons would have been familiar and exciting to me, I’d also have gotten more foil cards. The box is nice though.

For the first time all week, I was off the phones for an entire day. Just like the last time this happened, I was so grateful that I worked like a paki chasing their benefits. There was a lot of chatter taking place but I seated myself away from it all, I was too tired to make an effort today. People were talking about the Islamic religion and Ramadan, the scarf wearing female I’ve spoken to before earned my respect when she said that she had drunk alcohol and wasn’t religious but recently chose to wear the scarf, I admire that she isn’t just another zombie and at least made these choices by utilising her free will.

One of my team leaders also had a wardrobe malfunction and her breast slipped out.

I still haven’t forgotten about that customer, I’ve left notes on all our systems stating that they’re “high risk”.

Back at home I had a short conversation with my sister about the film we saw yesterday and the future of the genre.

Not my Endgame

No amount of sleep can prevent me from starting the day feeling like I need more sleep. At work I was instantly put on the phones and did get off until the lines shut. The bit that I find frustrating is that if more than just three people were on the phones, we’d make light work of the calls, instead they choose to overwhelm a handful of people. After a few hours, I had enough and I was leaving people on hold for 5-10 minutes. When I got off the phones and had to pitch in with emails and other tasks, I tried to lay back and just watch YouTube videos while doesn’t half of bare minimum but I just found it too easy to exceed the targets.

I think the quirky asian female at work reads my blog she said “I know how hard you work” when I agreed to do some work related stuff for her.

My father drove me home at the end of my shift so I could get to the cinema in time. We stopped off at home but my sisters had already left ahead of me, my mother looked at me smugly when I mentioned this, it’s as if she was mocking me, reminding me that they don’t care about me. She had a similar attitude when I was younger, it must be something she picked up from her parents, I think the lesson she’s trying to get across is “don’t open yourself up or care about others, no one cares about you, you’ll just get hurt”.

I met my two youngest sisters at the cinema and there were a horde of people queuing to get in, their seats were unreserved, ours were premier seats, front row and centre, we didn’t need to queue but my sisters were worried someone would steal our seats so we queued anyway and then after getting in, I queued another 20 minutes for snacks (popcorn, nachos and drinks). While waiting, one paki pushed ahead of me, he was too pathetic for me to call out, another paki started a conversation with me, joked about me trying to figure out which queue was the shortest and then mentioning how he’d seen the film before so his friends sent him out for food. He may have been hitting on me, thankfully I dodged spoilers but it was hard to carry a conversation with someone in that environment, with that knowledge imbalance.

The film itself was fine, not as good as the previous one, it was too long and there wasn’t enough fighting. Fine might be overstating it, it was disappointing.

My Metallica tickets and Magic the Gathering cards have arrived but I haven’t opened them yet.

A nice time at work

I was on the phones all day today, it seems that it’s just my imagination when it comes to feeling like I’m only the phones disproportionately compared to others. However, what was apparent today is that while others mix it up with webchats and phone calls, I’m just expected to take calls. Looking at the stats, this might be because my calls tend to be quite quick, I actually take more calls in an hour than other do webchats in the same period. There are also a bunch of new people, for the last couple of weeks they’ve just been doing emails and webchats, they believe they won’t ever be on the phones. I know this frustrates others too.

Despite all this, the day was going well until my final call, it was a trans woman who had a voice that 100% did not pass, it was Scottish accent so sounded as masculine as possible. I resolved their issue and they seemed satisfied but when I offered a mild gesture of goodwill they flipped out, they escalated and it became clear they wanted more. I didn’t put them through to a manger but myself and the rest of the staff had a good laugh at them while they were on hold, they agreed to go away for £5 but then starting complaining via webchat soon after, the complaint was about me because I refused to give them my surname (they repeatedly asked for this and claimed the Freedom of Information act compelled me to give this to them), I refused, the call ended and we all discussed the caller Looking through their history afterwards, it became clear they were a serial complainer. I have half a mind to send them some pizza…as a gesture of goodwill.

Other notable instances from the above event are me saying “cunt” when I get off the call to speak to a team leader, ping-pong guy comments on this, saying I’d really come alive. When leaving I inadvertently described the team leader on site as unattractive, ping-pong guy made a sex joke and I said “I move to the door faster”, I was called out and asked what I meant by that, I said “nothing, nothing” and left.

Since it was ultimately a nice day, at the end there I felt a sense of camaraderie, I don’t want to pull a sicky tomorrow and increase the workload for everyone else. I’ll just need to get my dad to pick me up and get me to the Cinema in time. On that note, I did have a brief discussion with ping-pong guy about spoilers for the film I’m going to see, just about avoiding them.

At home, I bought a box and bundle of the new “Magic the Gathering” expansion, that’s 46 packs. I regret it somewhat but I hope to be able to find someone to play with me. There’s also a £25 discount on a £40 spend on Amazon, I spent an hour looking for something to buy buy couldn’t decide on anything, I’m not really after anything right now.

The ping-pong guy is going to cover me next Saturday, I’ve contacted people on kik to see if they’re available that day.

I WILL break free

I feel as though I’ve been mistreated at work again, I was constantly moved around between doing emails, taking calls and webchat, I’m good at all three so I don’t see why I get pushed into taking calls while others do webchats and emails most of the day. I’m trying to protest by keeping customers of hold and then using the time to relax but even then I end up with a good “calls per hour” stat.

I’ve started looking for other jobs, it was just a quick browse today, it’s mostly kitchen porter jobs that are up, one interesting one takes place in a casino, I might apply there once I get the chance. Not sure what kind of job I’m after, just want something where I’m appreciated, somewhere I get to use my ingenuity, I’ll look away from Indeed since I’ve learned that place is a common haunt for pakis.

I was called “pal” by a guy, it hurt. Bothered me for the whole day. Worth noting though that at the time, I was coming out of the mens bathroom. I think I’m going to make more of an effort to get a bf starting this weekend.

I suspect quirky guy may have quit his job, he spends a lot of time playing PS4 these days. Currently he’s enjoying “Borderlands”.

Thank you for trying

Today was mostly just another working day, people are still trying to communicate with me and I keep screwing it up. There were no free computers when I arrived so a woman let me know that she’d be leaving at 1pm and I’d be able to take her computer then. I didn’t thank her, I just said I’d be back later.

When I did sit down, it was next to a chatty guy I’ve been seated next to a few times before. When he repeatedly brought up difficult customers, I didn’t have much to add, sometimes I’d just say nothing and smile/make a grunting noise. He did ask if I did anything over Easter, I mentioned I went to London on Saturday with friend and that I was subsequently tired due to being unwilling to take the tube. I tripped over my words a few times.

I later had to move and sat next to my team leader, once everyone else had left and it was just the two of us for the final hour of our shift, he begun watching the big Manchester City vs Manchester United football game on his mobile phone, he tried talking to me about it and then said “I guess this is the part where you say you’re not a football fan”, I explained that I like following the sport but I’m not a fan of the actual game, he then correctly expanded by saying that I liked the competition aspect but wrongly assumed that I didn’t support a team, I did not correct him. I’m thinking of buying a season ticket for my local team again.

My two youngest sisters have booked 3 tickets to see new The Avengers film on Saturday, ping-pong guy was unable to cover my shift, so I’m going to need to either pull a sicky, ask for a shift slide or book a taxi to get to the cinema ASAP.

I got back home at 10pm, my father soon arrived in my room and asked me to take pictures of some documents and email them over to his insurance provider. I did this with minimal fuss and I was rewarded with him telling me to get a haircut again and asking for another favour. This is why it’s pointless to simply do as he asks.

Thieves

Yesterday, I was still recovering from the fatigue caused by my trip to London, to aid this process, I scoffed a chocolate Easter bunny and watched anime. I’d have liked to have done more but I was in pain and this was therefore difficult. I did find time to post on 4chan and watch YouTube videos but that’s about it.

Something my sister said to me the day before stuck in my head though. When my sister barged into my room, she commented on my state, implying I should be ashamed of myself due to my age. I was relaxing on my bed on my day off, I don’t know what she expects of me, she’s only a few years younger than me and has never lived at home, she also relies on our father to sort out everything to do with her car (which I believe he bought for her).

Today was a little different, I’ve mostly recovered but the heat outside makes it a challenge to venture outwards. However, I was set on selling more of my dwindling video game collection, I put the order in CEX regardless of how little they were paying me and then marched to the library to print a postage label. At home I discovered I’d run out of envelopes, so went into town to get a pack, they no longer had the pack of 6 for £1, so instead I got the 4-pack for the same price. The final step involved going to the post office. This all took around an hour. I’d have liked to have given my copy of “Red Dead Redemption” for the PS3 to Shippy but I don’t have his personal details, it’s a shame since giving games to each other is something that friends do.

My father made his usual stop into my room, he asked if I’d heard anything last night as someone stole an important part of his car (/brit/ suggests it was the catalytic converter), his insurance won’t cover it as he opted for the cheapest package, I showed a lack of interest at the time and said that it was a learning experience for him. After researching the topic, I have some sympathy, the part can be sold as scrap for upto £200 but will cost the victim up to £2000 to replace it. I’m not sure if the perpetrators were pakis or whites, pakis are callous enough but lack the intelligence. Much like the moped thieves of London, I believe these types of people should be mowed down.

I’m all caught up on JoJo part 5 now and I also found time to take in the latest episode of WWE Raw, it was nothing more than background noise as usual.

My brother has new held my copy of “Devil May Cry 5” for a month and it’s lost £6 of its trade-in value over that time.

I’m still carrying on conversations with people on KIK but it looks like I’m left with only two who could meet up with me. Plan “B” next week.

The only one to show me love

I spent much of the day sleeping as I was not only exhausted from yesterday but I was also in pain. Even know, I’m still hurting. So anything to strenuous was out of the question. I mostly listen to anti-alt-right videos on YouTube while browsing my usual haunts but not posting much, I also lacked the energy to respond to people on kik. Yesterday really sapped me, it seems.

My sister barged into my room at one point and told me to put on some paki clothes she bought me for my cousins upcoming wedding. I was immediately offended and told her not to talk to me or enter my bedroom, she told me that I needed to try it on today so she could make an attempt to get a refund from the paki shop she bought it from. We ended the exchange after debating whether or not it was a legal requirement to offer a 28 day refund policy. She left, taking the clothes with her, a few minutes later I went downstairs to get them but was to afraid to grab them as they were in a bag right next to her. I instead picked up a chocolate from the table nearby and left.

I went downstairs again sometime later as my cousin (the one getting married) was there, I chatted with her and the rest of the family for about 30 minutes, I mentioned that I went to London to meet a friend and gave a rundown of what we did. My mother asked what race he was, I replied “white, obviously”, she also asked to see a picture but I refused, not sure why, as I would have loved to have shown it off. My mother later asked me what colour my skin was, she knew it would irritate me to say “brown” but I did it anyway, there wasn’t any way around it. The news was on in the background and I talked about how it was probably pakis who attacked the churches in Sri Lanka, no one was too offended by this analysis.

In a separate interaction and hour later, with my sister in the kitchen, one of the younger ones, we joked a little then I suggested she could do with drinking more water (her lips looked very dry), she responded by saying I was just like our father. Nothing could be more hurtful. Prior to this my mother had told me that she doesn’t recognise me anymore and that when she looks at me, she doesn’t see [deadname], I liked hearing that but my sisters comments brought me crashing back down.

At night I got a bit peckish to so went downstairs to eat a cold samosa as the microwave wasn’t working. My father insisted on grilling another samosa for me and some chicken, I refused many times but he did it regardless. I guess I should appreciate it, though I genuinely was not hungry and did not want anymore food.

A day out with my friend

Before going to bed, I shaved my legs, it was going well enough until I cut myself around my Achilles tendon, the bleeding was heavy and I had to delay going to sleep by 30 minutes. This resulted in me only getting 4 hours of sleep before I had to get up, it was 4:20am, I showered, skipped eating or drinking and put on a nice little outfit. I wore those uncomfortable but stylish River Island shoes again along with blue jeans, green open button shirt and striped t-shirt. I looked pretty good, it was pointless to put in too much effort as I’d inevitable look worse after a lengthy coach trip.

I rocked on up to the coach stop in the dark and without any trouble, I planed myself onto my seat. There weren’t many people who got on at the first stop, or the second one but at Manchester, I was unfortunate enough to have a mannerless negro sit next to me, he was manspreading and playing his music loud enough that it leaked from his earphones. At the service stop I picked up some breakfast, it was a wrap with chicken break, salad and salad dressing. It was OK, still avoiding liquids though as I didn’t want to have to use the bathroom. The journey felt surprisingly short (it was 6 hours long).

My friend, “Shippy”, met me at the coach station, he looked good, he’d lost weight and was dressed smart casual (blue shirt, nice jeans and black shoes). We ventured over to a Spoons just a few minutes away and ordered ourselves a meal, he paid. I got myself a burger meal with a cider, Shippy got a pizza, chips and Diet Coke. I commented on his choice of Diet Coke over more popular brands Coke Zero or Pepsi Max, he then put me in my place by reminding me that only pakis care about brands. As I said, Shippy had lost a lot of wight and to maintain this, he showed some extreme discipline when it came to how he consumed his food, reducing the total intake by removing excess topping. I wish I had that kind of discipline. We talked about mostly normal stuff such as work and our lives in general. One thing I was happy to hear was how me quitting video games had encouraged him to quit gambling, it’s made me more determined than ever not to relapse. Funnily enough though, Shippy bought a PS3 recently and is now starting to play video games, if I knew his home address, I could post him my copy of “Red Dead Redemption”. In the meantime though, he’s just going to have to make do with my recommendation of the anime “Kaiji”, it’s my favourite show and it’s about gambling, he has to love it.

After about an hour, we left. We had around 2 more hours before the start of the show. Shippy had bought a ticket which allowed him travel on the tube but I was unknowledgeable about it so I refused to take it anywhere, I didn’t know the routes and I didn’t know how speedy it was. There wasn’t enough time for us to take in one of the museums, it’s unfortunate but I suppose you can only really do one “main” activity on a trip to London, for us, it’s “Hamilton”. Maybe some other day. We instead headed to Buckingham palace and took a selfie, well a few, with her majesties residence in shot. It took a little while to get one that he was happy with though I thought he looked great in all of them, even if I did poke some fun at him. Our next stop was the House of Parliament, there were several protests occurring at the same time, an anti-knife one headed by a negro child, an anti-forced abortion on that seemed to only have a few members, some people in tents passively protesting something to do with the environment and the main attraction was the yellow vest/Brexit one, it looked like they got into a fight with the police officers and when one/some of them were carted away, they stood in front of the police vans in a failed effort to prevent their movement. Shippy was very taken by these sights, looking at him, it was almost like staring at a war veteran who was getting flashbacks of his time in the field. I pushed him to move along, we didn’t want to be late for the theatre.

The process of entering the venue was not as swift as last time but still pretty quick. I told Shippy we couldn’t take any food or drink but it looks like I was wrong about this as once in our seats, the person next to us busted out some popcorn (which she finished off before the start of the show). We were seated in the middle of the dress/royal circle, the best seats in the house. I was amused when I heard Shippy muse that the most expensive seats would be the boxes, I educated him by explaining that they are poor seats as they provided a restricted/side view. The show begun and while it was still great, a couple of actress changes were for the worse, the women playing Eliza and Angelica were pretty poor but thankfully these are not major parts, all the main guys knocked it out of the park.

During the intermission, I had to use the bathroom, I queued up for the mens room instead of the womens as the queue was shorter, I received some absolutely filthy looks from the women and it amused me to hear people asking staff which queue was for which gender. The remainder of the show was better than the first half, but that could just be because I much prefer act 2 over act 1 in general, the most memorable bit was when “Aaron Burr” came out for “Washington on Your Side” instead of “James Madison”, the actor playing “Thomas Jefferson” showed confusion and some audience members laughed, it makes sense as a change for plot reasons but it’s nice to see something different. Madison did come out for the song half way through.

Shippy told me he enjoyed it, I’m glad, though I did apologise for the entire case being black now. There was little time left before I had to catch my coach, we tried getting to Europe’s largest bookstore but failed, I was in charge of supplying directions but I made a mistake and we ended up at a point we’d already been to before. It was time to say goodbye on the back of that failure, it was unceremonious and felt like it came out of nowhere but as I noted, we’d seen each other 3 times in the last 6 months, so this isn’t a big deal, we’ll see each other again and just pick up where we left off. I did want to give him a funny “friends hug” but as the split was so sudden, the opportunity was missed.

The trip home was as terrible as usual, it felt so much longer and I was seated behind of a pair of negro women and their kids, there were also several pakis on board though somehow I was the only one left on the coach when we got to my stop.After having walked over 10km, I hobbled home, I saw a taxi driver staring at me but I was safe since I was walking along a main road. No one was awake when I returned but my mother had left a Subway sandwich for me. I ate it before bed.

The night before

Work was not much different to previous days except that I’m spending very little time taking calls. Despite this, I’m still working quite hard, the whole draw of working emails is that you can chill out and take your time, I guess my work ethic just can’t be muted. I had half conversations with the usual suspects, I’ll give them names, other than ping-pong guy, there’s older energetic guy (takes his job seriously and constantly offers feedback on how to improve processes) and younger football guy (we talked a bit about football once).

While waiting for a bus to take me home, I overheard a conversation by two women and advised them that the bus they wanted had just gone. I feel like this is similar to the spontaneously starting conversations with strangers technique that is used to improve social skills.

At home I cut myself while shaving my legs, it bled heavily so I had to wait 30 minutes for it to stop before going to bed. Not sure which outfit to wear tomorrow.