Victorious

During my remaining days off work, I played Spyro, I still found it fun and chilled out but didn’t 100% it since I could see certain parts would be too difficult or time consuming (the flying levels), it’s pretty disappointing since I heard the Platinum trophy was really easy to get.

I’m going to play Spyro 2 but I’ve also bought Tekken 7 (easy platinum trophy) and DragonBall Z: Kakarot. I’m not comfortable spending £50 for Final Fantasy 7 or £40 for Resident Evil 3 knowing prices will eventually crash.

My Saturday night shift was fine, the big guy is on holiday for a while, so just me and the taxidermy woman, the koeraboo took some overtime. I chatted to both quite a bit, divulging quite a bit of personal info to the koreaboo but ruined it all by accusing him of being lazy at the end of the shift, I misinterpreted something he did. I apologised.

On the Sunday, it was just me, the African is likely AWOL due to Ramadan and my manager was missing for unknown reasons. One of the new managers was very nice and supportive, said I only had to take calls and nothing else, gave me his phone number too. Despite this, I still smashed over 100 emails, no one noticed, as usual. Still I’d rather do all the work by myself than most of the work with someone else doing a bit.

Platinum trophy, Bronze complaint

I had 3 more shifts at work after my last entry, all of them with my manager, the koreaboo and WoW woman. The WoW woman asked customers for extra DPA and moved an email she didn’t want to do back into the queue, I told my manager and he let me transfer the emails to him, I doubt he’ll say anything to her but he understands that I won’t do something that someone else should have done.

My manager asked on another shift if I was struggling with the emails I told him that I was avoiding “rushing” like he always tells me and that I was using the amount others on shift had done to give me an idea of how many I should do. I pointed out the koreaboo has only done 5 emails in like 7 hours. I think my manager might have had a quiet word with him, he works a bit more quickly but still barely does anything compared to myself, the big guy and taxidermy woman.

Naturally, I did very little during these 3 shifts, mostly just watching “American Horror Story” in the background, I’ve seen the first 3 seasons now.

The highlight was when the head of the call centre called my discuss my complaint against my manager, I struggled to come up with witnesses and dates but referred to my blog at times, she reassured me that the blog would not be mentioned to my manager, I refused to give her a link to it. I also failed to hammer home the effects this has had on me but all I’m ultimately asking for is to change my shifts, a minor request. She spoke to my manager the following shift but using a different platform to communicate, I thought this was bizarre.

Actually, I lied, the highlight of the shifts was speaking to customers for 30+ minutes, one guy was from Tenseness and asked for my facebook but I don’t have one, I gave him my Discord instead, another was just a guy who found me to be amusing and the one guy I spoke to for an hour with was a rehab counsellor, it’s easy to talk to people these days as the Coronavirus is a great ice breaker.

On my first day off, I achieved the Platinum trophy on Uncharted 4. The following day, I went to ALDI and started playing Spyro.

More old vidya

After I was done with “The Last of Us”, I started playing “Uncharted 4” again since it was now free with PS Plus, I last played in back in 2016 and it’s the one mainseries Uncharted game that I haven’t earned a Platinum trophy on.

I spent the 15th & 16th of April mostly grinding out trophies, I did some online play that was necessary and completed a speedrun that I was part way through. Despite not having played this game for around 4 years, I still couldn’t bring myself to watch the cutscenes again.

On the 17th & 18th of April, I was back at work, there were a lot of emails to get through, I worked more than I had all year but I plan to slow down to my usual rate during my next shifts because my workrate is based on the colleagues I’m working with, some are lazy and I won’t do any more than them.

The big guy suggested I watch “American Horror Story”, so I switched over from RuPaul’s Drag Race, the first season was entertaining though maybe left me wanting.

My manager asked how I was, I said “OK”, he went with “why just OK”, similar to a response he gave the last time he asked, I had also asked how he was but as always he ignored that, conversations with him are very one sided, he never shares anything personal with me despite expecting me to. I expanded a little and said “I’m sure no one is jumping for joy right now, due to the lockdown for example”, he then ended things with “you never know”. A useless and worthless discussion. He called the big guy to talk, so he’s still calling people that he actually wants to chat to, I honestly don’t know what I did that was so wrong? What makes me different to everyone else? I let him get away with essentially bullying me and I played his strange little games.

The HR team said my email had been lost in their recruitment system so they’ve only been able to look into it now and have passed it onto the heads of customer services who then passed it down to the head of the call centre. I’m apparently going to be contacted by her directly at some point. I am concerned as I have a reputation as a loudmouth.

Hard Mode

I’ve spent the last 3 days playing “The Last of Us”, I finished it twice on easy mode to maximise my stats and then once on hard mode for some trophies. During breaks I watched an anime called “Hi Score Girl”, the first episode was funny but the remainder was pretty run of the mill, I do not recommend it.

Today I went to ALDI, as usual there were no queues, I bought all sorts of items such as milk, tuna, hummus, chocolate spread and bread. I did initially forget the milk so had to go back into the store, a Pakistani man with a traditional Pakistani style hat let me jump in front of him in the queue as I only had one item, I appreciated it but felt guilty as when I first saw him my opinion of him was negative due to his appearance.

My sister offered me a fish she cooked, our relationship seems to be mending but I find it hard to extend the olive branch since if I cross her she might threaten me as she’s done before.

A trans poster from /britfeel/ has offered to send me a bottle of E gel, I was left in awe by their amazing act of kindness and spent some time chatting with them.

Talking

On the 9th and 10th of April, I was working again, my manager speaks to me even less now, it’s still just over the workplace chat, all messages are quite professional and to the point. I have not heard back from the HR team, I’ll give it more time before emailing the head of customer services. The racism allegation is definitely one that they’ll take seriously, it’s just bad timing due to the virus.

The taxidermy woman thinks I’m mentally ill and spoke to me often over chat, I believe she thinks I’m in crisis too, I found it a bit uncomfortable but it’s my fault for that “thank you” message which could be seen as a cry for help. She shared some details about meds etc and I confided in her about my self medding and having run out of pills.

I’ve gotten to season 8 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. I’m finding I preferred the characters from earlier seasons.

On Friday night I did my radio show and it was a trainwreck though the viewing figures were good, there were like 7 people on at once for most of the 2 hour runtime. Ebin went AWOL but I apologised and can see things from his point of view now.

I played through “The Last of Us” again. I’m holding off on purchasing Resident Evil 3 and Final Fantasy 7 as I expect them to drop in price significantly before the end of the year.

I went out for a burger meal, I had a craving. My weight seems to be at 12.2 stone but the scale might be busted.

Burning Another Bridge

My shifts at work on the 4th, 5th & 6th of April were mildly unpleasant, it was me, my manager, the Koreaboo, WoW woman and the African, my manager made a habit of giving me the most amount of work and for some reason all the call seemed to come through to me, I’m certain that my manager is doing this on purpose, he’s much friendlier with the whites so he’s doing them a solid by minimising their workloads, he still calls them during work but not me. I don’t understand why he hates me.

During the virus pandemic, at work, we have the option of leaving “thank you” notes for colleagues that are published for all to see once a week, I thanked the big guy and taxidermy woman for talking to me and the shift after that was published, my manager, the WoW woman and Koreaboo all messaged me, clearly they felt pity for me. The Koreaboo and my manager gave up quickly but the WoW woman has been persistent and I appreciate it though I would rather not speak to her as we do not genuinely enjoy speaking to each other.

I decided to put in a formal complaint against my manager for all the bullying since I started working here, I emailed HR with the following list of issues:

1. He called me stupid/retarded multiple times
2. He called me “good boy” or “clever boy” multiple times
3. He called me “good girl” or “clever girl” multiple times
4. Made 1 racist joke
5. Making jokes about my appearance
6. Kept asking about my sexuality after I refused to reveal it to him
7. Threatened to make my time here a living hell

I sent this to the head office so hopefully this should be taken more seriously than if I’d just emailed his direct manager, I’ve simply asked to not share any shifts with him and to get a change of manager.

Before the end of my shift, my manager attempted to speak to me again, he messaged me to ask how things are going, as this was his second attempt, I decided to say something other than “fine”, I went with “could be better, could be worse”, he asked for more information and I said that I would rather not start discussing my personal life with him. He has never shared anything about his personal life when I asked, so I refuse to share anything further with him.

The following two days involved me doing another episode of my radio show and a hell of a lot of online shopping, I bought some dresses. I could do with some black boots though. I’ve also ordered more E as I’ve completely run out but it won’t arrive for a month, I’m highly concerned about this as being without any E or T can’t be good for my health.

The light fades

My day at work had a small amount of intrigue at the start, my manager messaged me and pushed me to use up my holidays since I refused the shift swap. The issue was escalated to the head of the call centre, I was told she’d contact me regarding it but I proactively emailed her and we agreed that I would work different days of my choice. They’re both either quiet days and/or days with several people in. I probably should have proposed that in the first place rather than arguing.

I chatted a little bit to the big guy and taxidermy woman over the workplace chat. My main accomplishment was being able to hold a conversation for 5 minutes with another manager at the end of my shift who was checking in on me.

The following day it was just me and the big guy but it’s been a quiet night so far. I’ve just been watching RuPaul in the background while working, currently on season 3, I was pretty disgusted when one contestant revealed they were “becoming trans” at the end of season 2, it really muddies the waters, drag queens are the complete opposite of what it means to be trans.

The major news is that I won’t be getting the flat despite having paid the deposit, the landlord has apparently taken it off the market, it’s clearly a fucking lie, they just found someone who would move in sooner. I’m massively crushed by this news, I would think about moving out multiple times every day, it was truly what was keeping me going, I believed everything would be better once I had my own space, I could be myself. It night not seem like much but being able to wear female pyjamas and nail polish would mean the world to me, especially during the lockdown, I could be me all the time instead of repressing the entire day like I’m doing now.

My father doesn’t knock when he enters my room, he barges in at least once a day, he always has a criticism and wants me to socialise with the family in the living room, I’ve tried bringing up that he doesn’t spend much time with them either, presumably for the same reason that I don’t, they don’t interact much with him.

Today he entered while I was working, I’d just gotten off a call, I called him a dog, the most offensive term in the Pakistani culture. He responded by ranting at me in Pakistani for an extended period, I weakly coughed in his direction and that was it.

Once again, I can’t overstate the mental anguish that losing out on that flat has brought me. I feel hopeless for the future.

Becoming a Pokemon Master (again)

The 4 days off work were all pretty similar. I played Pokemon SHIELD mostly and I’ve reached the end of the story, I think it’s a great game but I won’t be playing it much now since there isn’t anything else to do. My Pokedex is complete minus 3 Gigantamax forms. There are two that are exclusive to Pokemon SWORD that I’m trying to trade for and the last is a pre-order bonus that I missed so I’m trying to buy it, only costs £1.50. It is no exaggeration that almost all my time these last 4 days has been spent sitting on my bed in my room.

I made two trips outside, the first was to ASDA but I went back home when I saw there was a queue, the second time I went to ALDI instead since I no one was waiting to enter. It’s a smaller store so all I bought were 2 boxes of cereal, milk, a pack of biscuits and a large chocolate bunny that I thought was marked at 59p but was actually £3.99.

My father has continued to wreck the house with his attempts at DIY, he’s also still concerned with my sisters situation.

I’ve deposited around £900 and setup a direct debit with an energy supplier, so it looks like everything is ready to go. There are still a few concerns though, I don’t know if I need a gas supplier, I haven’t contacted my internet supplier to get it moved over and I’m still not sure how I’m going to move all my stuff over.

The only drama came last night when my manager asked if I wanted to swap some shifts and I told him that I didn’t and explained that there would be more work to do on the days he’s asking me to switch over to, I also called him out on trying to trick me. I know now that working hard isn’t appreciated at all, so there’s no point in doing so, I’ll be taking it easy and taking advantage all day long. He replied this morning. The text chain is below, in his response he tried to make me out to be the bad guy but I think it’s still pretty clear he was trying to pull a fast one on me.

A lack of attention

This entry will cover 3 days and I’m going to kick off with some good news, my flat application has been completely successful, the reference checks etc are all clear, just need to drop around £900 in first month’s rent plus security deposit, I think that’s what it was, haven’t actually deposited it yet, I can leave it a while since the estate agent agreed to push back my move in date by 2 weeks.

The only issues I’ve run into is using this tool that helps me set everything up when I move, it couldn’t find my address and doesn’t know who the local water authority is. I’ve dropped and email to the council letting then know I’ll be moving in, need to setup electricity and get my broadband moved over. There’s plenty of time ahead of me, so that should all be fine.

I started working from home and the first shift was a nightmare, the big guy was MIA and the African is still claiming Caronabux, it was just me and for the first half the shift the Koreaboo was doing overtime. The VPN wasn’t working so doing anything was a massive pain but after 4 hours it was fixed. I was then on my own but did pretty much everything, not quite but I did a massive chunk of work. Didn’t gelt any praise for it, no one cared.

The second shift saw more people in, my manager called me up and was chatted for 7 minutes, it was fun though my mum overheard and said I sounded very rude and like I wanted to attack him. I later learned that on the same night he had a 30 minute call with the Koreaboo, he also called him up first. Work itself was much better, there was a quiet patch and throughout the night I had “Better Call Saul” on in the background, I’m onto the 5th season.

The last shift saw the return of the African and he was being his usual incompetent self, asked people on webchat to call in because either he was lazy or incompetent.

My manager called up everyone, had 5-15 minute calls with my 3 co-workers and then around 4 hours after he called the last of them, he got around to me, I asked what he wanted and he joked about checking that I wasn’t asleep, he then hung up, the call lasted less than a minute. I then went on the workplace chat and called him chubby. I generally avoid attacking people’s physical attributes but I wanted to upset him this time.

My father has installed a new medicine cabinet in the bathroom, it’s good, perhaps one of the best things he’s ever done.

A change of scene is coming

I spent the rest of my time off work by playing Pokemon Shield. It’s quite addictive and I greatly enjoy the technical improvements, I’ve already spent £20 pre-ordering the season pass. After the lockdown was announced on Monday night, I went out on Tuesday morning to buy some food, mostly hummus but also energy drinks. ASDA was less crowded than it was the previous week when everyone was panic buying.

I learned my sister (youngest) is in a relationship that my family do not approve of, my father is going berserk and has said some terrible things. He then started painting and removing the medicine cabinet from the bathroom. He wants me to cut ties with her, I’d sooner cut (ties with) him.

Today I boarded an empty train to work and walked the empty streets to the office, though they were not quite as empty as they should have been. The streets somehow looked cleaner.

When I went in, I learned that everyone would be working from home come tomorrow. I was given a large amount of kit, a Chromebook, a monitor, keyboard, wireless mouse etc. I was quickly shown how to set it all up though the VPN wasn’t working, I was told it would be sorted, I don’t know how since I won’t be in but I’ll just have to trust. As for the working part of the day, it was just me and the taxidermy woman, the big guy wasn’t in. We bitched a lot about the bad habits of our co-workers, it was really therapeutic and I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels this way.

My work paid for a taxi home. The Pakistani driver was very interested in me, said he thought I was a woman (from a distance).

At home, it took me 45 minutes to setup everything. I then visited my local branch, the site was ridiculous, I just wanted to print off a statement so I could find my account number, I needed this to transfer some money into it but I was refused entry despite queuing for 20 minutes, everyone was standing 2 metres apart due to social distancing guidelines. Apparently my needs were not “essential services”, I swore at the staff member and then almost cried when explaining how unreasonable he was being to the police. Back at home, i checked my balance and found my pay had entered my account, so I’d have enough to pay off my credit card bill for the month.

Chatted with my sister over Whatsapp, it’s the most we’ve spoken in months, she’s interested in my new flat and wants to help me move.