Guilt, haven’t felt that in a long time

The guy I mentioned last time, the one who gives me rides home from work, also known as the Ginger Viking, that name popped up on this car screen, I believe the name comes from his hair colour and the fact he has a beard. Anyway, what I was going to get into is that he offered to give me a ride home again on Wednesday, I gladly accepted, he always drops me off at ASDA, it’s close to my home and at this point it would be awkward to ask him to drop me off at a specific location, he’s already doing me enough of a favour. I believe it as on the Wednesday that his car boot was open, the homeless people that sit by the ASDA entrance pointed it out and I alerted the Viking, I then gave the homeless people a £10 note as a thank you for their good deed.

On the Thursday, I noticed Captain Candy and another co-worker discussing something about catching an act on CCTV so it can be reported to higher authority, I didn’t completely understand but it was clear they meant to catch out the Ginger Viking, I know the other co-worker and he do not get along, he was very angry when the Viking walked out early into his shift last Friday night. I didn’t say anything though, I didn’t want to make trouble when it might just fade away. I was wrong, the following day it was revealed he had been suspended from work for not adhering to company protocol, I’m sure it’s not uncommon what he does but normally you don’t have to watch out over your shoulder for someone grassing you up. I now feel guilty and distressed, I hope with all my heart that he does not kill himself, he told me that he also had debts, I hadn’t yet queried the nature or size but this cannot be good for his mental health. The co-worker who grassed him up has always been nice to me so it’s hard to be angry at him.

I have no more PlayStation games to play, there are ones I want to dig into but their prices are still too high, even second hand, God of War Ragnarok being the big example, I’d also rather play it when I have my own house and can buy a big TV screen again. I settled for waddling through Pokemon Violet, it feels very slow, mechanically speaking, everything takes too long to do, I only have one gym badge but I have caught 75 different Pokemon. The Last of Us TV show is OK, so is the Glass Onion film,

I hope he’s OK

No entry in 2 weeks should be a crime, I have slightly interesting social interactions to record. The week before last, I had some kind of food poisoning, couldn’t eat comfortably for around 4 days but it didn’t stop me from stuffing my face, over the weekend I played “Final Fantasy Crisis Core” and eventually got the platinum trophy

The following week however, I continued to receive occasional lifts home from the guy at work, he is ginger and born in the same town as I. He recently shaved his distinct beard, many at work asked him about it but he just told them he felt like a change, a bit like me and my hair, but he confided in me that the real reason is because he was feeling suicidal and a friend introduced him to a help group who helped him come to the conclusion that he should shave his beard because during the worst times of his life he had the beard, he says it hasn’t helped, I suggested he also try buying some fancy expensive clothes to feel better.

The following day, we rode back again and he said that he doesn’t like Mumble Rap music, you can’t actually understand what they’re saying with the exception of a few words such a “nigger”, I tried to alleviate the tension by saying I also didn’t like rap music but he went the other way and said there is some rap music he likes. The day after, he did not give me a lift home. He has had some troubles at work and he walked out the next day, he was frustrated at not being given working tools for the job. Captain Candy grassed him up at the end of the shift and his co-workers were angry with him.

The former social worker who took the time to give me a 30 minute speech some months ago, also got into some trouble, he got into a fight with a co-worker, I suspect the co-worker was being racist and condescending but Captain Candy reported him for his behaviour too. The Captain recently became shift supervisor and I fear this will corrupt him.

The next weekend I played “House of Ashes”, I’m once again running out of games to play, I am not prepared to pay full price.