Back in stasis

As before, nothing remarkable going on at work, I clock in and out, the work is still very easy but I’m becoming lazier, for example, I’m on shift right now and listening to a YouTube video while writing this entry. The reason I’m annoyed is because the guy on the day team who was doing the same job as me has now changed roles, he gets a 4 on/4 off shift pattern, not happy about that since I feel like I’ve been doing more work. I keep getting promised a 4 on/4 off shift but I never get it. I’m now the only person doing this job with people on the day team picking up the slack, I’m leaving more and more slack for them to pick up, they need to hire a second person.

The woman I work with became overwhelmed with the workload and locked herself in the bathroom for half an hour, this older guy went home for similar reasons, seems I might have the better job but it’s the shift pattern I really want/need.

In terms of relationship building, there are certain people in one of the other offices who talk to me but I’m too uncomfortable to carry a conversation so pretty much run in and out.

As for my gaming, after obtaining the Platinum trophy on Spider-Man: Miles Morales, I returned the game for a refund to MusicMagpie, having a 30 day returns policy for used games is silly, I can be done with any game in that timeframe. I’ve also played Resident Evil 8: Village, I don’t think it’s anything remarkable though I wonder what the experience would have been like on normal mode or without a walkthrough, I instead beat it on easy mode, unlocked the strongest weapon with infinite ammo and I’m now doing a run on hard mode, oh, I also did a speedrun on easy mode and got all the collectables for trophies. I don’t recommend Spider-Man or Resident Evil, both are very short games and shouldn’t be bought for more than around £10. I beat Resident Evil the first time in 10 hours, that was being very thorough and collecting everything. After this I could run through the game in 3 hours.

I’ve found my ideal takeaway, it seems spicy food is becoming harder and harder to find, likely due to white sensibilities. This place sells spicy Donner meat on chips with “Naga” sauce and chilli sauce, it’s £6 though. I plan on making it my new regular, though I’ve only just thought about comparing it to a large Oodles Noodles box with spicy chips/noodles/Singapore rice with Malaysian chicken and Kung Po chicken for £7, this comes with a can of drink too. The store also opens at 11am which I can consider an advantage.

My plan for the weekend is to stream me finishing Resident Evil on hard mode, brining back my radio/podcast show and getting a takeaway. I may apply to some more jobs.

Dreams do come true

As has been the case constantly since starting my new job, I have a severe lack of free time. My memory all seems to be going a little, I struggle to even remember the entry code to my building, the previous week at work was the same crap, I think I’ve reached the point that my co-workers have given up on me, I mostly just listen to podcasts while working, I’d love any recommendations for new ones as I struggle to find any that match my interests.

I have given into my fathers suggestion that I buy a home, houses in my hometown cost around £80,000 for a 2 bedroom, this is all that is affordable and within my price range, it’s a bit disappointing that I’ll have lived in the same town for 4 generations but it is home. Not sure what the next steps here are though. The downside here is that I won’t be able to roll the dice on my premium bonds every month as I’ll need to pull out my 30K for the deposit.

This week was a big one for me though, during my night shift, stock of PlayStation 5 home entertainment games consoles were dropped by Argos, after trying for 3 hours, I was blessed enough to secure one. I was overjoyed but couldn’t bring myself to share the good news with my work colleagues. It was also the holy festival of Eid this week so I booked Thursday and Friday off work, it has felt amazing to take 4 straight days away from work again. On the Thursday, I visited my family, it was alright seeing everyone again but what I really wanted in that moment was to be home and snuggle up with my PlayStation. Everyone seemed to have a bit more going on that me, so I didn’t interact with any of them as much as I would have expected. I also got the impression that they didn’t really like me or want me there, the oldest of my sisters looked at me with a look of disgust several times and even insulted my jumper.

The following day, I visited my aunt, my family also joined me on the trip. We chatted for a few hours before I left for home again. It sounded as though my mum is planning on divorcing my father, she was talking about what she was going to do with the money for her half of the house. Seems selfish on her part, she’s only doing this now because she’s older and wants some money, I feel even less of a connection to the family than before. I briefly returned on the Saturday to donate my PlayStation 4 to my youngest sister and downloaded some games onto it for her. Finally I was free to enjoy my new gaming system, I’ve been playing “Spider-man: Miles Morales”, it’s alright but more than anything I’m enjoying that the console is completely silent.

I don’t want to go into too much detail about this but I now feel that in this world, if you can obtain something for free, without hurting someone, you should do it. Why waste my limited income making the rich richer?

I did my washing for the first time since starting my current job. My diet is getting a bit better, on the days that I work, I can get through the shift with just one bottle of HUEL.

My goals are to resume my radio show, buy a house, stream some gameplay and complete my jukebox musical.

Trans Tram

I’m back to working nights and in our new office, I’m seated a bit away from everyone else and given up on connecting with my co-workers, I think they’ve given up on me too, I started bringing in earphones and listening to music. The big work story for now is that there’s no scanner in the office so I have to walk 5+ minutes to another office to do my scanning. The people there and I had a good back and forth exchange once, we talked about how long we sleep and hobbies. My family are still giving me rides to and from work every day without exception.

A couple of guys entered my room while I was sleeping, I knew this was going to happen because of a letter I received, it’s something to do with checking fire alarms, I pretended to not be awake so they used the master key to gain entry.

On the Saturday, I placed an order for some more moisturiser, I got lazy and stopped using night cream for a few months now, I need to get my skincare routine back on track. I spent the rest of the day being comfy, I enjoyed a nice British-Nigerian film that was recommended by my mother, it was called “Gone too Far!”. I also ordered a Covid testing kit, they’re free and I’m curious so why not? I hear 1 in 3 people have no symptoms.

The Sunday was more eventful, I went for a laser appointment, it’s pretty pointless, I don’t really need it but paid for a certain amount of sessions so might as well take them. I wore a cute jumper, black jeans and black boots, at the tram stop, I foreign woman asked me how to pay for a ticket on the tram, I helped her but she didn’t have a card or coins so couldn’t pay, I told her no one would check so she just got on, I told her where to get off and then walked her to the connecting tram but when we got there she said she knew this area and chose to walk to Piccadilly station instead of using the tram, she was worried about being blocked at a ticket gate. While on the tram, I also gave up me seat for a woman with a burka and a kid, not sure why, it was pretty unnecessary.

The next interaction was with the laser technician, different woman to usual, there was some back and forth/small talk. It also rained and my new top got a bit wet which sucked, it was nice and sunny at the start of the day. I went around to the clothing stores, I found a few bits I wanted in Primark but the queues for the tills were ridiculous so I abandoned my collection and left. In the middle of the city centre, I saw 4 guys with “Anonymous masks”, they were each holding screens showing footage of animal abuse on farms. A woman who I first thought was part of the small audience then approached me, she asked if I was interested in what I was seeing, she was honest about some of the footage being taken in Australia as well as the UK, I pressed this as some images were worse than others and I assumed the worse images were taken in Australia as this couldn’t happen in the UK, she felt that animal abuse anywhere was terrible, I chose to make an exit and was given a card for my troubles, I am anxious having extended conversations with women, they obviously assume I’m cis and I feel I give myself away with my voice, it makes me feel bad because I assume they feel disappointed/annoyed.

I had a burger meal for the first time in months when I got back.