You like vidya too?

I woke up a little after 10am feeling mostly refreshed and I kicked off the day slowly by eating cereal, showering and the usual stuff before setting off for work. The day was good, I wan’t on the phone and instead the people who agreed to “email only overtime” were made to take calls. I felt great and after checking the rota, I can see I’m one of the few people to be pencilled in non-phone work at any time during the next week (ping pong guy is the other).

The woman sitting next to me tried making conversation, I tried holding it but just didn’t know how to respond or keep it going, it didn’t help that I was so low energy due to not eating between 11am-10pm. This was bought in conversation when I was asked if I wanted McDonalds (all my co-workers after 6pm today were female and they all got something from Maccies), I refused, said I wanted to lose a little weight and that I had a system.

My supervisor/team leader for the day bought a couple of PS4 games in with her (Witcher 3 & Monster Hunter World), she bought them from GAME earlier in the day, an opportunity arose and I tried discussing them with her but the interaction involved a third party who took the dominant role, I retreated. All I managed to say was that Witcher 3 was great and I didn’t like Monster Hunter, it’s popular in Japan and it’s one of those you love or just can’t get into. Seemed like a missed opportunity to build a social connection, she’s been playing Red Dead Redemption Online recently and is now looking for a story driven game.

At home I played an hour “Red Dead Redemption 2”, I’m finding it to be a very chilled out experience since I’m playing it the way games are supposed to be played, without a guide and just for a short while each day. It might be fair to say I’m enjoying it more than any game I’ve played in a while, for those reasons I mentioned.

Mo’ Toil

Some more stats were released at work today, turns out I took the highest number of calls yesterday but a fairly significant percentage. I’m not happy about that and my mood was further soured today when I was put on the phones for most of the day again despite hitting high stats on emails during my first hour. I was irked further when my manager asked if I wanted overtime, I declined and said she should let me know when she’s offering time and half or something, she then responded that she’d think about it when I hit 60 CPH. All that makes me think is that I may as well just drop my stats since no one cares how well I’m doing. Got a couple of angry customers too, they felt I was being mockingly sarcastic, I wasn’t, just trying to talk plain to them.

At home I played a bit of Red Dead Redemption 2 and watched “Last Week Tonight”.

My attempts to make friends are not going well, 6 guys contacted me on kik but most don’t even want to meetup.

Big Money

As with all other working days, today was a bore. I’m feeling more conflicted about leaving now thar all my holiday requests have been approved and I’ve seen my first payslip (£1,300 for the month).

I spent 20 minutes late in the day talking to a co-worker, it was mostly work stuff, I didn’t have much to contribute when it came to other matters, she mostly spoke, I listened and tried to be agreeable.

On the way home, a guy got a little too familiar with me, he made a joke and patted my shoulder. I tried to play along as he was very giddy. I also picked up a burger meal as I skipped lunch, as usual. I went to a new place, it had “chicken” in the name but the burger I received used some kind of red meat. I won’t be returning.

Caught Registeel in Pokemon GO.

Dead Again

I woke up at around the same time as yesterday, I started off by installing “Red Dead Redemption 2”, it took a while since the file size is around 100GB. I watched a bit of JoJo (it’s taking forever to pick up) and posted on my usual haunts, nothing special. A couple of hours later I took a shower and IPL’d.

Just before 3pm I broke and bought a burger meal, the pakis fucked up my order again. I asked for extra spicy and all I got was mayo. It was probably OK calorie wise as I didn’t eat anything afterwards.

I played the first chapter of Red Dead, it’s looks graphically amazing but it’s quite slow paced and will take a while to finish, looking at the trophy list, only 25% of people have even finished the game. I’m considering selling my PlayStation 4 once I’m done with this game, there’s nothing else out there that I really want to check out and it’ll get rid of my major vice, allowing me to spend my time more efficiently.

Tomorrow I’ll post on /soc/ in a fresh attempt to make friends. I’ve got a few different ideas on how to do it, if I don’t get any attention the first time, I’ll just whip out another plan.

My finances could do with some sorting out, by May everything should balance out but even then I’ll need to buy some more HRT pills. I think I’ve been pretty frugal as of late though, while I’ve got a significant amount to pay off on my credit cards this month, next month it’s only £600. This job feels like quite the lifeline right now.

Friendship for £40 a day

As with all my recent days off from work, I got a decent nights sleep and woke up at a time that suited me, today it was around 10:30am. I had a large breakfast and played a little “JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Eyes of Heaven” for a couple of hours before getting down to business. I called back the HR/recruiter guy from Friday, learned a little about the job role I applied to two months back, answered a few simple questions and was given a date for a face to face interview next week. I couldn’t had it tomorrow but that would have been too much.

It’s another contact centre role, it pays a little better but when considering the minimum wage rises in April, it might not be so different. Though this is salaried. The hours are better and I feel I’ll be treated with more respect. Most importantly though, it’ll give me another chance to make friends because it’s obviously not going to happen where I currently am.

I spent much of the remainder of the day playing the aforementioned video game, I’m done with it now though. It wasn’t great, the novelty wore off quickly. I managed to watch a couple of episodes of the JoJo anime too.

Over on /britfeel/ I tried making friends by offering money and replying to posters who stated they were lonely or had no friends. It didn’t work, I know that I need to expand my web at some point but the fish I’ll catch through that method won’t be as similar to myself. I was disappointed to see that the potential friend from the Leeds meetup went to another meetup last Saturday, I tried keeping in contact with him initially but he never replied to me on Discord, I thought we got on well. The trans woman from the Birmingham meetup offered to hang out with me out of pity, that was the closest I got to finding someone who would tolerate me. I’ll try harder tomorrow.

Outcast

Today wasn’t much different to every other working day, though it was very quiet, I still managed to achieve a high CPH stat though. I didn’t talk much except to ask for help, I’ve grown confident enough to open a small window for 4chan at my desk. I’m still skipping lunch but need a new scale to discover how much weight I’ve lost.

I sat in a far corner, it’s the least desirable seat and it where I end up sitting during weekdays due to being on the late shift, so even on a weekend when there a far fewer people in, I sit there, as it’s “my seat”, away from everyone else. It’s where I belong. My manager asked if I wanted to sit closer, I mumbled and put on a high voice and declined, explaining that “all my stuff if here, it’s where I sit during the week”, she looked annoyed or frustrated and left.

At home I chilled out for a little over an hour before going to sleep. My brother borrowed my copy of “Devil May Cry 5” while I was out, hope he finishes it quickly so I can sell it on.

HATE toil

I got a good amount of sleep. The day started off fine until I realised I had a runny nose, I was embarrassed at work when it leaked onto the floor a few times and I constantly had to ask to go get more tissues. My co-workers were all normies, talking about nights out and drinking, I couldn’t relate, they were younger than me too, I felt uncomfortale when the topic briefly shifted to going to uni and studying.

People made attempts to talk to me, I forced responses, I just didn’t know what a natural reply should sound like.

My sister offered me some of her food when I got home, it was kind of her and I accepted even though I’m dieting.

More toil

My diet is still intact, I ate cereal for breakfast and then nothing else for about 10 hours. Work dragged, as usual. A guy I’ve spoken to a few times sat next to me, we chatted quite a bit but I haven’t found any common ground with him. I’m glad I had someone unintimidating willing to engage with me though.

I was given a new task today, it was seriously challenging and my stats must have sucked but I got the hang of it by the end of the day and feel I’ve become more useful. This happened after my team leader told me not to bother grassing people up, I replied with “so it’s OK?”, she was nice and treated my response as naive rather than snarky.

The only other standout moment was on my break when the cool woman from my interview caught me in the kitchen filling my water bottle. She asked if I was enjoying myself and was surprised when I said “no”, it’s a job afterall, she seemed surprised, I mumbled some awkward, meaningless triple alongside that and avoided eye contact because I was trying to think of something to say.

I didn’t play any vidya.

Heaven & Hell

I had an early start to work today as my manager altered my shifts just a little, I know why she did it, it’s to get me on the phones longer. I’m now starting at 11am on Thursday. Despite the earlier start, I still managed to find time to grab some deodorant from Superdrug. It’s a pretty generic one from Sure. I wore a t-shirt that showed Pokemon playing cards and a plaid shirt over that.

The ping pong guy sat next to me today and we chatted quite a bit, he plays Nintendo Switch so I’m struggling to find common ground with him. He’s also in a relationship.

I’m not happy that people are still answering emails in a way that boosts their stats and passes the buck to someone else, I’m still reporting them, it’s the people with the highest stats. I also don’t like that some people haven’t been forced to take calls.One of them is ping-pong guy, I get that, he’s good at what he does so it’d be a waste to split his workload. It’s some of the others that bother me. Fortunately,a job I applied to over a month ago has responded to me, they’re just letting me know that they’re still considering all applications and to confirm my interest.

At home, I finished with “Devil May Cry 5”, I beat it on “Dante Must Die” mode and then “Heaven & Hell” mode, I’ve no interest in trying out the highest difficulty (player dies in one hit but enemies have 4x thier standard health). I’m going to lend the game to my bother now, I would have rather sold it on to be honest, I want to make back some money.

I Pre-ordered “The Walking Dead: The Final Season”, it’s more a TV show than a video game, I’ll be done with it in a day or two. I want to see how this story ends.

Phone Work

I played some “Devil May Cry 5” before work and ate a bowl of cereal, still out of deodorant. Maybe tomorrow after work, I’ll be able to head into ASDA before going back home. It was particularly annoying today as it was warm for the first time in months, I must have sweat just a little.

At work, I did part of the day on the phones, it looks like that’s what I’ll be doing often going forward. I’m not happy about this at all, while I enjoy talking to people, I feel like not everyone is going to be spending an equal amount of time on them. I’m also getting sick of seeing the people with the high CPH (call per hour), giving responses that just kick the can down the road, replies just asking people to confirm details that we don’t need or already have. One time I saw this today, I turn to the person next to me, as he was the one who sent the email. I told him “you know you can get this info here”, he said that he knew that and then I asked when he sent that reply. He looked dumbfounded and just said that he didn’t know. Hopefully, that little tap on the shoulder will alter his behaviour.

My diet has gone briliantly, definitely did under 1000 calories, I ate nothing throughout the day and when I got home it was just a bowl of chicken pasta.

Before bed, I played some more “Devil May Cry 5”, I’m on chapter 18. I expect to clear “Dante Must Die” mode tomorrow.