Maybe, Just Maybe

Since my last entry I have been spending money a bit casually, I figure since I wasted £900 on solicitors fees, money is meaningless at this point, so I’ve been about £200 on Magic the Gathering cards and maybe £50 or so on lottery tickets, the tickets is silly, it just seems like a trivial amount to throw away each month. I am still looking at houses, not vigorously though, got a viewing on Thursday though all the homes I see are more expensive and smaller than the one I lost.

Not much on the gaming front, just playing “Plague Tale: Requiem”. I have bought Sonic Frontiers on sale from Amazon using a £5 discount voucher, I’ll be trading it into CEX for £6 profit.

The World Cup has picked up my mood, it gives us all something to believe in, after Pakistanis defeat to England last week, I pinned my hope on seeing some Pakistani excellence here, I was initially let down again when Qatar lost, then Sengal, then Iran but everything seems right with the world again, by chance I tuned into the second half of the Argentina vs Saudi Arabia game and both witnessed one of the greatest games of all time and the finest performance by a Pakistani team in football history, Saudi Arabia won, magic, they did what everyone said was impossible but they proved them wrong, so maybe I’m wrong about what cannot be accomplished.

I had a nice night out with my local friends, they hit me up late on Saturday afternoon, I didn’t have enough time to sleep, pick an outfit or groom, so I just took an hour nap and turned up to show my face, it would have been nice to have some more prep time but regardless, I met up with my camp friend, nazi friend and “cam”, met him in Sheffield, he’s the non binary person, we call him “cam” because he always has a look like he’s just been caught out on a nonce hunter cam/video. None of them looked like they made much effort to dress up either. I was the first to turn up which was disappointing.

I met the camp boy and nazi first, they were thirsting eagerly for alcohol and were considering planting roots in a brewery and waiting for Cam there but I convinced them to go to the train station but they insisted on purchasing drink from the mini supermarket first, I suspect they may have an addiction.

Cam arrived and I heroically managed to direct the group to the Christmas markets instead of a pisser….they all bought alcoholic drinks there and pork products, Can went to town on his like it was a large throbbing penis. I wanted to explore further and find some chocolate pancakes but the search was cut short as the Nazi was getting fidgety, he needed a drink soon, we went over to one of our favourites, a cramped and small space in the northern quarter, we went to the outer area and had some drinks, Can suggested a Gin & Lemonade for me, it was very nice, one of my favourite drinks now.

While sitting down, we were offered some hyper dash by the Nazi, it only cost £5 a gram, I regret not buying some, it’s good for weight loss and really cheap, it doesn’t seem to do much else of anything either, low chance of death. We all partook while Nazi regaled us with his thoughts on the greatest man in the history of the world, Oliver Cromwell and how he would threaten to and succeed in killing the king, I also took a look at his Poke on cards, later on we went out to look for somewhere else to drink but Nazi used some harder stuff and was clearly to hammered to get in anywhere, bouncers were refusing him entry from a mile away. We found somewhere to drink outside though, it was alright, it was getting close to 11pm and we split though I had to chaperone Nazi, he was lagging behind and getting aggressive due to his reduced cognitive abilities a result of the pixie dust.

Gotta Stay Positive

The earth beneath me appears to have given way and I’ve found myself in a bit of a hole, I’m not spiralling and I am still positive though.

First of all, I didn’t pass my driving test. I didn’t fail, I just didn’t pass. My instructor was nice enough about it and encouraged me to keep taking lessons, which I shall. The test went very badly, I got 2 dangerous faults (thinking I could squeeze though a bus and a parked car, I was also headed straight towards a parked car when looking for somewhere to park up( and 2 serious ones (went in the wrong lane on a big roundabout and then cut across lanes to the exit, plus some steering issues), they were all bad, except perhaps the steering. The examiner was nice, I failed within 5 minutes or so of starting, my instructor remarked on us being back sooner than expected but I appreciated the examiner letting me drive for 30 mins or so to get a fuller test experience, I got 6 minor faults but I doubt it was worth counting them. My co-workers were quite supportive.

Secondly, I chose to ask for a further reduction in price on the house I am buying, 13K to be exact, it’s based on the solicitor giving me a list of things that require indemnity insurance, I didn’t quite understand it all but my mother has been pestering me about overpaying and it’s seeped into my brain now, I want a discount, house prices are falling, I can get something better, etc. I was rebuffed, I said I was pulling out, I am now awaiting the solicitors fees, I expect that to be around a grand. I am looking at houses again, prices do seem to have gone down a bit, not sure if I should pounce now or wait even longer.

I can only attribute this to my mother putting “nuzzur” on me, it’s a form of Pakistani black magic that brings people misfortune, she wants me to stay at home to pay the bills as she is unemployed and to take care of her as her disability worsens. It seems like her and my father are separating again, I saw them fighting earlier in the week, my mother seems like the villain due to her aggression and unwillingness to compromise or forgive, this is despite my fathers multiple failings, all he seems to want is for my mother to cook for him when he gets back from work. My dad agreed to move out, he has my brother looking at house or flat auctions for him.

I find looking at cars and houses on the street distressing and it can feel overwhelming but I am keeping my feet planted to the ground, I need to keep up with the driving lessons and keep checking house listings.

Soul Cleansing

I had a whole week away from work and I did….little to nothing. I arranged for Sky TV to be installed at my grandmothers house, she doesn’t speak English so I thought she would appreciate having some Pakistani media channels to choose from, it’s costing me over £20 a month but I think this is the best use for that money. My uncle who she lives with really should have done this, I don’t know what he spends his money on, I suspect it’s OnlyFans or something like that. My grandmother is struggling a little to get to grips with it, she is 89 afterall. I went over to see her 3 times during my time off, we watched classic modern Pakistani films such as Laal Singh Chadah and RRR. I was surprised by her views on RRR, she felt the British colonisers were portrayed in an overly negative light and the Pakistanis overly positive. I am her favourite grandchild, I’m sure she was happy to spend time with me. One thing that struck me hard though was when she mentioned I was buying a new house, she asked if it had a downstairs bathroom, she can’t really use stairs anymore. If I could back out of the purchase, I would and look for a place suitable for her.

The guy I mentioned before continues to give me rides home from work, I greatly appreciate but don’t know how to show it still, this pains me. He seems like a kindred spirit, he is from the same town and is single. He gives me driving tips and recently shared a harrowing story about when as a child some other kids attacked him and his brother by the canal, stole their bikes and threw his brother into the canal, he had to have therapy, currently going in for heart surgery. All I could comment on was how awful bike theft it.

At work I had a work appraisal, I had nothing to say and neither did the man conducting, he asked if I wanted any training, I said not really and then asked if I wanted to keep shuffling paper, I honestly do, there’s no aggro to it.

On the gaming front, I have now completed every main series Assassin’s Creed game except the first one, I like all of them. Digimon Survive sucked, I regret purchasing it, the upside is the code inside was unused so I redeemed promotional Digimon trading cards with it that can be sold for over £10, maybe £20.

It looks like my driving instructor will let me take the test, I am struggling, my last two mocks didn’t go well. I am struggling with parking on the left.