New low

I didn’t enjoy work today, half way through the day I had issues with my login so I had to do sales calls which I was uncomfortable with. I also had to ask for help a couple of times so felt embarrassed, a guy asked me if I needed help and I just mumbled until he walked away.

Weighed 9.10-9.12 stone, my lowest weight yet, probably ruined it by eating a donner on chips though. The takeaway I go to is great, I feel terrible I don’t buy more as the guy running seemed to desperately try to push me to get a drink or something.

Washed my hair, it looks terrible, I have no idea how to make it work without growing it longer or getting my fringe cut. The front is too long to casually sweep to the side anymore.

I just need to be glad the working work is over, maybe now I can find my balance.

Pointless post, pointless blog, pointless life

Work was unremarkable, I was notified of a monthly survey to anonymously keep track of our mood, there was a question about socialisation and I rated my satisfaction at 3/5 and wrote it was my fault as I had poor social skills but noted everyone was nice. I think some of the questions I ask are silly, I could assume the answer but the person on the other end would know I’m not sure. Turns out some of the new people at work are just temps. One of the new people is transgender but she works on the other end of the office.

I bought the Hearthstone packs.
My mum remarked I’m looking quite pale and I should check if I’m anaemic.

Had lasagne when I got home, I still think my calorie control is fine.

Still not called the GP or dentist.

Laser on the weekend and I might look into buying progesterone.

Back where I belong

Work was fine, I looked a little dim in front of LittleKuriboh again. During break I intended to use the one of the iPads but discovered they were in use so instead looped around and hid in the bathroom for 10 minutes. I’m also avoiding using my 3DS at work since it means sitting around other people and that could invite conversation again.

I still need to arrange a dentist and GPs appointment but I’d need to top up my phone first.

Looking over my bank statements I can see I spend around £300-£350 a month, £120 is travel, £20 in internet and £120 traveling to court but regardless, I’m not spending much considering my income but it explains why I failed to save much when I was back on bennies. My only notable purchases were a few clothes and a video game, so I suppose I can buy those Hearthstone packs.

I hit rank 5 on Hearthstone, so I’m back at the level I was back before my laptop was seized.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I feel as if I have shrunk an inch or two.

Haven’t completely blown the diet yet

My solicitor contacted me to inform me that my attendance was excused and that another intermediate diet has been set for around 3 weeks from now, he didn’t respond to any of my followup emails querying what was actually discussed in court. It sounds like nothing was said and all that happened was the date got pushed back. I’m not happy about this but there isn’t anything I can do considering what I wasn’t resolved is the cost and time of travel, I’ll try asking if he’ll make a contribution but I probably won’t.

Work was unpleasant to start off with, I couldn’t find a working PC since there were more people in the office now and some were moving about, I sat at 5 different computer and wasted near 30 minutes before asking a manager for help, it was a stressful experience, I felt self conscious as it is a small area.

There were a couple of social interactions, the first was with the guy sitting opposite me, never spoken to me before, he has an interesting look and is a bit quirky, he said a few general things and things I didn’t know how to respond to such as how this job was creating moral dilemmas for him. The other interaction was with the guy who leaned over at my 3DS yesterday, he knew it was Yokai Watch I was playing, we talked vidya, exchanged names but I messed up again, he told me he liked Dragon Quest but I didn’t respond by asking him for more on his thoughts or expressing just how much I loved DQ, instead I said some dull stuff about the gameplay styoie.and my experience with DQ7 even though it was likely he played DQ8. He then started speaking to his female friend and showed off his new phone, I think it was a Samsung, I didn’t comment as I wasn’t part of the conversation. I couldn’t watch Hollyoaks during that break since I wasn’t sure if aforementioned female was watching something.

Mum had a takeaway for me when I got home, not a disaster since I only had 500 calories the rest of the day, cereal has been replaced with porridge.

Got my first months worth of wages (paid 2 weeks in arrears), just under £1000, not bad considering NI would have been deducted, it is more money than I know what to do with but I was expecting a little more.

It’s getting warmer and the sunlight stronger, I don’t like it, it’s bad for the skin in general and I’m uncomfortable either sweating or wearing fewer layers.

Missed it

Today featured two significant social interaction opportunities but neither went as well as it could have despite having practiced these exact conversation topics in my head for weeks. During break I was playing 3DS again, a nice guy who I interacted with over a month ago leaned over my screen to see if he recognised what I was playing before jogging on back to work. It was Yokai watch that I was playing tody, soon after LittleKuriboh sat next to me, he said “little bit of 3DS” again, I told him what I was playing, we had a conversation about vidya, I told him my 3DS was hacked, he was impressed but there were several points where I messed up the conversation, when he spoke about Zelda all I had to say was my sister plays it, when speaking about him playing Pokemon HG, I repeated a bad story about replacing the battery in an old Pokemon Gold cartridge and lastly when he said he was playing Witcher 3, it was one of his all time top 3 games, I criticised it, not well. The main issue was probably how I spoke, once I could think of half a response, I blurted it out.

The other conversation was with the Wrestling guy, I initiated, asked if he was hyped for WrestleMania, he’s booked a ticket to watch somewhere, he asked if I was a fan and I stumbled.

There are a bunch of new starts at the call centre, looks like my job is in danger.

No response from my solicitor, I’ll chase that up.

Really hate my body, much easier to diet picturing what I don’t want to look like rather than what I do, only ate cereal, yoghurt and a small portion of peanuts today. I’ll replace the cereal with eggs and maybe cheese tomorrow.

Oink Oink part 397

I ate terribly again, I need to sort myself out, I’m probably just bloated but I hate looking at my body. Tomorrow  I’m working 12-8 for the week, so if I can cut out the third meal of the day, I should lose something.

Made the switch to a much more expensive broadband and TV package, just another one of the things us people with jobs do, besides it’s still less than a days wages, might even get a huge mobile contract too since I do need a new phone, the pigs won’t be returning mine anytime soon. I am a bit worried about incurring additional charges and claiming them back but I won’t need to think about that for a few more weeks.

Didn’t get anything for mothers day but my siblings all made a big deal over it, my brother visited too.

Another glorious day of simulated NEETdom

I went out a couple of times to use library computers, the sun was out so naturally the normies were scurrying about though the only things of note I saw was a larger than usual number of interracial couples and a large gang of paki youths in the library.

I ate poorly, cereal, red meat, 5 cupcakes my mum made and chicken. Might have some pancakes too. Still not put on any noticeable amount of weight, so I can’t let that get me down.

My sisters attacked me and called me a manchild again, this time it was because I suggested I might exit our current broadband deal and get one that comes with a HD sports package. My other sister had an awkward conversation about marriage with me, said I don’t want to get married but I conceded it could happen in the next 5 years. My dad had the topic of marriage on his mind too, my mum told him to shut up and really put him in his place, I’m quite proud of her. The man was enquiring about next doors house, they’re planning on putting it up for sale, my mum told him his kids don’t want to live next to him, they want to get away.

Skinny jeans or at least men’s skinny jeans in the sizes I bought do not fit comfortably.

The student loans company is chasing me for employment info, I have nothing to worry about as I’m earning below the threshold. Obtaining the info they want will be a pain.

Lazy git

No work again today, I woke up at 10am and spent most of the day, excess of 6 hours, sitting in front of the living room heater, I felt cold and fatigued the entire day, even playing Digimon would have been too much effort. The only productive thing I did was epilating but I had to charge it after I’d done one leg and I didn’t have the energy to finish the other. 

I’ll need to make a GP appointment for my lethargy/anemia soon, I tried today but was out of credit. I was yawning as early as 4pm, ready for bed by 7pm.

I forgot to mention I played some Yokai Watch on the train yesterday, I can see why it’s popular with kids in Japan, some nice design choices and gameplay mechanics.

Didn’t leave the house, doubt I will tomorrow either.

Finally someone worse at their job than me

Today was a depressing joke of a day, I don’t want to dwell on it.

My dad wanted to drive me court but I managed to get him to settle for taking me to the train station. The train journey was long, cold and uncomfortable as always, I managed to get a little sleep before arriving at 7.30am. I wondered around a bit before attending my solicitors appointment at 8.30, the police still have nothing but we can’t ask for the case to be dismissed yet as a reasonable time to search the devices would be around a year, our options are either just letting it play out, just requesting I no longer need to attend court until the trial date is set. The other option is requesting we go straight to trial, it’s a winnable case due to lack of evidence but the prosecution would probably oppose it.

When I went to court, the security guys told me I couldn’t take my water bottle, so drank it, then he said I couldn’t keep the empty bottle and dumped it in the bin, the foreign cunt was later spotted by me joyfully tucking womens flasks behind a counter. Angry about this.

When I asked reception what court I was in, they couldn’t find me, so then I was told to ask someone else, turns out I was given the wrong date, my intermediate diet is actually on Monday, I went back to my solicitor, he looked over some stuff and admitted he was at fault, he took down the date wrong during the previous diet. He said he’ll “take the bullet”, he’ll explain the situation, this was in response to me saying I wouldn’t attend the court date on Monday.

Back home now and feeling tired and beat.

Court tomorrow, finally

My work bully became the staff rep or something, I didn’t vote but I doubt it’d have made a difference. Bit annoyed by this.

At work LittleKuriboh commented on me playing 3DS, “nice bit of 3DS” during break. Later he asked what I was playing, I said “smash”, he asked how the online was, I guessed it was “bad”, made me uncomfortable as I don’t play online and I’m not happy the game I was playing didn’t accurately reflect my tastes. Later in the day I said something very rude accidentally to him, he was in the middle of something, I sounded pushy.

My quality assessment was fine, all passes but I need to stop speaking over customers.

Took Serraline today.

I’ll be heading to the trainstation later tonight.